Always a day late and a dollar short

Summer What?

2011-06-27T22:17:00.000-07:00

I didn't even realize that it had been months since I had posted on this blog. A lot has been going on in the past few months. First, we didn't end up moving but we did end up taking on another person in our house. Which I am not exactly thrilled about but at the same time I know that it is somebody that is responsible that will take care of the house once we are ready to leave.

I finished my licensing and passed my state board 2 weeks ago. Now I am licensed to rip out hair on all areas of the body. I am finishing my makeup program for the time being until the winter since I had to take time off from hurting my back.

There are some big news that need to be announced but I have to wait till we announce it on home front.

No Pictures included

2011-03-29T23:42:00.000-07:00

I really got to start taking more pictures ad my days go by considering how crappy of a memory I have and I know everyone likes pictures. I've been spending the last 4 days in bed b/c I have been sick. I was supposed to be in Vegas this weekend but... too sick.

School is almost over which I am excited about. There are so many things changing around here that it makes my head spin. I don't know if I will still be qualifying for my school's honors program especially since my attendance has gone to hell from being sick.

The big news is that we have decided to get out of SoCal. We are moving to the pacific NW where LJ is from. There are a lot of little details that need to be covered like for 1 his business and 2 my schooling. Since we both have to wrap up here its more like early 2012 than anything else. Unfortunately, we will have to do a move prior to the "Big Move" since our landlord wants his house back and now only have less than 30 days to pack up our house.

My birthday is this month which I should be excited about but chances are I will be moving that weekend. I also realized that I will be going to school day and night for a month which I am not too excited about. I am happy because I will be going to make-up school but not excited that I will be in school for 10 hours a day with only a 2 hour break in between.

Life. It's busy.

New Year... just a little late

2011-03-10T20:42:00.000-08:00

I am happy to report that instead of falling into the same old corporate trap I decided to go back to school which is the main reason I have been MIA. A few posts ago I mentioned wanting to be a make-up artist. Although I do love make-up I know that I just can't go out there and market myself as such with no formal training and not a lot of experience. I am in an esthetician program and I will be following it up with make-up school.

I am super excited about this change. LJ has been super supportive and although we are making some sacrifices for the ability for me not having to work, we both hope that it will all be worth it. I am in school almost 40 hours a week and am doing the honors program as well just to add to the fun.

Life is good.

Fall?

2010-10-03T20:21:00.000-07:00

Time seems to be flying faster than I can remember. This lady of leisure business is harder than it looks. Not that I am really complaining life is overall good. I've been keeping socially active between Junior League and my Meetup group activities and I hired a personal trainer. I don't have much downtime especially since I am still working for LJ too. I am afraid of becoming "that girl."

You know the bosses wife/girlfriend/fiance/significant other/bitch. This week I told his employees that we were going to have a catered lunch on Friday because it was the end of the month. I didn't realize that it was only on days that guys did inventory. Oops. Some of them think I am the boss, some give me respect. I don't know exactly how to treat them all or how they are supposed to treat me but I am working on it. I also told if something didn't shipped out that same day I was going to chop him up feed him to the sharks open up the shark dig him out and feed him to another shark. Aggression much?

I am so looking forward to the Fall actually starting so I can wear all the warm clothes I bought that its been too freakin hot. On Tuesday it was 100+ and Saturday it was drizzling. I need to go through my closet and get rid of some of my shoes too. I finally got to wear my tall Cole Haan boots and my purple leather jacket. These items sold out at Nordstroms so no pictures available.

This is also the first weekend in at least 3 months that I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING PLANNED. I think I might finally tackle that scary room that I call the closet. I've made tenative plans for Saturday with LJ but Sunday.... nothing.

Oh yeah and the worlds greatest meat lover... going 80% vegetarian... WTF!

Seriously... My brain could explode

2010-08-06T12:16:00.000-07:00

With how many things I have going on.

I'll start off with that I am happier now than I have been in a long time. I am no longer working for the big place that I was working for for almost 7 years. The company has changed alot since when I started to what it is now. On top of that just the commuting, people and general economy made me a miserable hot mess. I am freelancing on my own for now working on 2 big projects and picking up odd jobs where I can to make ends meet. LJ is being supportive and is telling me if I want to make a career change right now is the the time to do it.

On the plus side of being home more often, my flowerbeds have never looked better and I will be home in a couple of hours to bake some cupcakes for a cupcake decorating party I am throwing. Everytime I have a bright idea I think how could I make a job out of that?

I love make up = makeup artist = starving artist = no
I love to bake= baker = fatter = no
I love the internet = internet stalker? = social networking?= web design = possibly
I love throwing parties = event planner = possibly.
I love to shop = personal shopper = amassing credit card debt = no

I am getting way more into my domesticated side although I am still not cooking. I am also planning on using this little break from work to start eating healthier and taking care of myself. I have some doctor appointments lined up for the next few weeks starting today. It's not that I don't like doctors its just that I didnt like taking time off of work to do them. Now that I am on my own schedule I can do them in the middle of the day no problem.

My mental health has definately improved since this change. I am def optimistic at this point.

Baco-Rama!

2010-06-16T13:34:00.000-07:00

I should probably be saving this post for next week, but I wanted to share my excitement over the party we are having this weekend. One of our good friends is having his 31st birthday tomorrow and we are throwing him a bacon-themed birthday party.

Everyone is supposed to bring food with some sort of bacon incorporated into the dish. Since we are hosting I will be preparing bacon chocolate cupcakes and Coke floats and 50/50 floats. I am hoping they turn out alright but I am bit skeptical.

I am also going to attempt to make Bacon Churros as in mexican churros with sugar and cinnamon. This should be interesting. I will make sure to have pictures of the end products next week.

Oh yeah, I still need to clean up the closet/craft room. Anyone want to take care of that for me? I will pay you in bacon. Or bacon churros. Your preference.

I'm Still Alive...

2010-06-01T11:33:00.000-07:00

So I haven't completely fallen off the internet but I am normally only commenting and not really writing on my own although I have 5 bajillion things I could be writing about. Here are a couple of updates just to show I haven't been holed up on my bed (although sometimes I wish I was):

I accepted a leadership position with Junior League that I am super excited about. Normally as a regular active you kind of get to take a break for the summer as someone in leadership, not so much.
I think I told everyone way back when that I am not commuting anymore. Well at least not the crazy commute I was doing before. So far that has made a super drastic change in my attitude and energy levels. I actually want to go out and do stuff! Although I still have to drive up to LA to do my Junior League stuff.
I have been getting more into crafting and turning my closet room to also be a craft room. Hopefully I will have that done sooner than later. Although for right now everytime I see the show "Hoarders" it freaks me out and makes me go clean up that room a little bit more. Anyone want to help me build a proper craft room? I will pay you in knitting and yummy food. And wine, of course!
LJ and I hit our 3 year anniversary last month which I am super happy about. Not to sound like an ungrateful wench but seriously? "Put a ring on it!" I think now I am starting to get a little antsy.
Having one of LJ's closest chick friends at our house this weekend made me feel a little better about #4 , but you know... still sucks.
I am loving babies currently. Not in the make my ovaries ache kind of way but in the yeah maybe I will babysit for my friends for a full day.
I am starting my little side business which I hope will take over our garage. Currently working on the computer part of it before I start searching for other things.
I will be starting a new blog. Already have the URL some of the software stuff done but not ready to go live yet but am getting pretty dang close. My new personal calling cards already have the url on it so now I have to make it happen. I think thats why I have been holding back on blogging for a while now since I knew I was going to be doing a switchover.

Anyone have any good news to tell me? What is going on with the 2 folks that maybe read my blog still?

I wish I could say that....

2010-01-18T22:09:00.000-08:00

Life is wonderful.
I have achieved everything I have wanted to do in the time fram needed.
All my family is doing well.
That I was happy.
I don't have a Sorority Life addiction.
everything is in order.
I know what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I don't. I can't. I will come back when I have happier things to say.

I didn't fall into the well...

2010-01-10T19:01:00.001-08:00

Ya’ll I have an addiction. A Sorority Life addiction. I can’t say that that’s where I have been hiding for the last couple of weeks/months. To be honest just real life has gotten in the way.

A lot of things have changed mostly for the good. I am no longer commuting 100 miles a days – 6 hours round trip in the hell we call LA Freeways. I am actually closer to home and on a good day I can get to work in 25 minutes and a bad day I can get there in 45. I didn’t think I was that affected by it but those around me have noticed a change in my personality since the commute has stopped. I have noticed it myself too. I am grateful for those who helped make the change happen for me and I am upset at those who give me crap for making a “selfish” decision to get my life back. I don’t know what it means for my career with this change b/c I am basically taking a break but I don’t know if I really want to go back either. I like my regular job better but with my work life balance being shot to hell for half the money I was making a year ago I don’t think that it’s worth it. Who knows maybe in a year it won’t matter anyway.

Aside from the big work change I have just been involved in so many other projects socially that I sometimes get a chance to read everyone else’s blogs but I rarely have a chance to write my own. I am enjoying knitting, card-making, Junior League, re-organizing and decorating the house. I need to take pictures. I am going to get better at it I promise.

Headcase.

2009-10-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

I wish I could tell ya'll that I have been having a fabulous time in the sunshine and playing with the imaginary puppy I've been begging my bf to get me.

Sometimes I wonder if I bite off more than I can chew. I have been having a feeling of overwhelm for the last couple of weeks to the point that I am just withdrawing from life a little bit. Not noticable to most but I know that I am letting things fall to the wayside that I really should be taking care of. Which is also why I have been semi-MIA on my blog. Oh and my reader? Almost to 1,000. Awesome.

I actually have some great posts floating in my head and some pictures I want to share for the OCD organized. I will get to it soon. I will at least try to catch up on commenting. If I am not here then I must be at your blog.

Talk to everyone soon.

P.S.S. For anyone doing the "Don't Go Over in October" Challenge.... I have only fallen off the wagon once. I had a credit at Ross and I ended up spending a little over my credit on shoes. But seriously? Can we ever have too many shoes?

Hand Me the Brown Paper Bag Now

2009-10-02T12:23:00.000-07:00

Normally that would be meant for beer, but not for the month of October. I found this "Don't Go Over In October Challenge" while I was browsing Heidi's blog.

31 days. No Shopping. Just necessities. Thank God there are no Nordstrom sales that month and I just went there last week. No Old Navy or Target. I can't say I will be saving a lot of time since I generally hate the mall and do most of my shopping online. Maybe I will be a little more productive in front of the computer since I think it would be in my best interest not to be browsing so much. I don't want to be the hungry cat with tuna in my face.

2 days in yes I am having a little bit of lust. Currently it's being compensated by the fact that I have to buy things for my side job which is technology related. I love buying new toys and software. Even better when its billable!

As Good as Martha Stewart in Prison

2009-09-23T11:15:00.000-07:00

This is what my bf thinks of crafts as a whole. Or this is what he thinks of my crafting as a whole. The last couple of weeks have been full of all things domesticated and to tell you the truth I am a bit exhausted. Not in a bad way just trying to put a house together and still have a life is a lot of work. Trying to come to work without looking like I just rolled out of bed is a lot of work.

I would say about 80% of the house is unpacked. The rest of it is still sitting in boxes in the garage. At least they are neatly stacked. I am waiting for a weekend that I am not working and not having company over to plow through it some more. Still have some painting to do and other little projects but not the end of the world.

I am also waiting for our semi-permanent house guest to find his own home. Nice guy but seriously? 2 going on 3 weeks? He's been doing this all summer at everyone else's house just because we have an actual spare bedroom doesn't mean we want you in it through the Fall. Plus, I am tired of Febreezing the bed. I miss having my closet and having to pick out my outfits the night before and having to get ready in our tiny master bath.

When I was in Idaho I relearned how to crochet and about to finish my first blanket which i pretty excited about. its a couch blanket. Long enough to cover all under my toes and wide enough to cover me side to side. Oh speaking of vacationing... Magda please e-mail me your pictures again because the link that you sent me didn't work. It's cool if you send them in separate e-mails. I will have a decision for the contest by the end of the week if anyone is still here listening. Thanks!

When I was up North i went on a crazy yarn binge and got some pretty nice stuff. A lot of people will be getting scarfs this year. I also met up with LJ's sister who is still in her Jerry Springer life. I think the reason her and I get along is because I am not negative towards her decisions. Do I agree with everything she does? Um, no. At the same time she is an adult and she is choosing her path and all you can do is be supportive as long as she is not hurting anyone (including herself). Along with that I think I am helping her make some positive choices in what she is doing with her life. I will get into more detail as our little project progresses.

Since I was on this yarn kick I started looking up local places when I got back and went to a place on my way home from work. I think it was a sign when I got there it was the first day of a knitting class. I signed up for the class and learned something the first day. Unfortunately, I had something conflicting on my schedule for the second meeting so I will be there for the 3rd meeting. Also when I was up North I met a girl who had a really cool necklace that I am attempting to reconstruct and those will also be Christmas gifts. I have a few projects between now and Christmas.

If crafting isn't enough to take up some time in the next few months Junior League is in full swing. I have been to at least 4 JL related things in the last month and I think I have another 7 more between now and the end of the year. So far it has been a lot of fun and the social aspect of it is one of the main reasons I joined. I have met a bunch of girls who are on the same boat as me in the respect of career and relationship status. I mean there are million girls who are married but a lot with long-term bfs as well. I still haven't made a real good friend but there are lot of prospects. The only thing that sucks is that I am out of the area on the weekends because I live so far out. Oh well. Willing to travel.

So I will be going back to my jail cell crafts. I will post some pictures once I have some finished projects done and more of the house as they come. I am still here even if I am not writing. I may actually be starting a new blog. I will have more details once I get things a little more together. For right now I a still reading even if I am not the best commenter.

A Contest!

2009-08-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

Edit: Extended Contest to get some more entries, please tell your friends.

With my move from a small house to a really big house there has been a lot of decorating to do. Out of my garage came out a huge picture frame that holds 30 5x7 pics that has never been used. Originally I was thinking of doing a bunch of pics of my friends and family but I wanted something more interesting. This is where you come in.

For the contest I would like you and anyone else you know to send me pictures of random pretty/cute/funny things. Pics from a place you have visited or where you live. Your adorable dog. A picture of your awesome shoes! The only thing I don't think would work is people. It would be hard to explain to my friends and family why I have pictures of people I don't know on my wall. Unless I know you then that's cool too. These will all be printed and put in the frame in the living room. Please submit your own pictures and not something you found off the Internet.

To enter:

Send me a picture to starchase83(at)me.com. Multiple entries are accepted.

The prize for picture I like best: $50 Target Gift card.

To rally up some support:

1. Tell your friends about the contest via twitter and include my @starchase83 so I know. (1 entry).
2. Become a follower of my blog (1 entry).
3. Write a post about my contest on your blog and send me a link back via the comments or e-mail. (2 entries).

This winner will be picked at random. Prize for this is: $20 Starbucks gift card.

This contest ends August 31st at 10pm PST.

Like My Mom Says....

2009-08-21T14:30:00.000-07:00

"Luz de la calle, escuridad de su casa"

which translates to:

"Light of street darkness of your own house."

I did my very first guest post over at http://www.lifeofabusywife.com/

come show some love!

See ya'll Monday!

The one where Janet Jackson is my drunken bff and Miley Cirus is a *#%W#()

2009-08-12T13:17:00.000-07:00

You know you've been exposed to too much social media when you start dreaming about it. I can't remember the last time I dreamt about anyone outside of my immediate friends and family or even blogland people.

Over the weekend I had a dream about Janet Jackson. We were at a charity event together where I was supposed to bring a banana peel to honor the organization the charity was for. I was introduced to Janet and she all of a sudden became all BFF with me and was chugalluging her booze. And she was wearing that outfit where she had the "costume malfunction". There was another guy who introduced himself as Sam somethingoranother and I didn't know he was a celebrity rapper. Which isn't too surprising considering I listen to country. Miley Cirus was on the otherside screaming at an assistant to get her a latte and being a total bitch and giving us the stink-eye for no apparent reason.

The next scene is us sitting front row on a catwalk and Janet wont STFU. And then Sam's name is said by the MC and he starts mumbling that he is not going up there and he is definatetly not performing. Janet is starting to slide off her chair and is yelling something about "I want those kids. I don't know why my mom got those kids and the damn money! Those are my kids and my money!" The models start coming down the runway and one of them passes out in front of Janet from being so starved and instead of people helping the model they are all trying to calm down Janet. I am looking after the model and Janet is screaming at me that she wants me to take her to her moms to pick up the kids. I tell her she is out of her mind and I am not driving her out to LA from Newport and she can spend the night at my house to get her shit together.

Yeah, crazy dream. Anyone care to share?

I didn't know I was related to Jerry Springer

2009-08-07T14:00:00.000-07:00

When a sibling of your significant other tells you they want to come visit its normally a good thing right? LJ's sister wants to come visit in a couple of weeks which I am totally cool with. Everyone in the family has given me prewarnings of not getting to close to her because she is crazy as hell. The handful of times I have met her she seems really nice and I don't see any reason why we should have her over.

I know that there is drama going on with her mom (whom I speak with) about her new bf (a guy twice her age), while I don't necessarily agree with her choice of bf, I do understand. I remember being 20 and doing dumb things that seemed like a good idea at the time. Not as far as she has gone but you know enough to understand. From everything I've heard from both sides of the fence the fued is getting pretty nasty and I said to both LJ's sis and mom that I am on the fence and I am not picking sides. I told LJ's sis that if I think her new bf is a douchebag, that's becuase I think he is a douchebag not because of what her mom said.

So lets hope for a happy home full of sunshine and puppies when the time comes.

LA you're not my home but a nice place to visit

2009-08-07T10:51:00.000-07:00

When people outside of California ask me where I am from I always say LA. It's easier than explaining that I am from a small beach community 20-3o miles south of LA. I got transfered out to 90210 back in February and have been adjusting ever since. I now live in Orange County as most like to refer to "The OC" which is about 45 miles into LA. Most people tell me I am out of my mind to do the commute and I mostly agree. So I finally decided to catch the train into work.

Before taking the train I was really worried I would get really carsick. I am no good at being a passenger. I need to have the air on at all times. I have to stop and pullover on really curvy roads. Even on the train its still a 2 hour commute each way. What does a carsick girl do on a train? I can't read which would be the best thing for me. Any ideas besides the ipod?

It felt like it was the first day of school riding the train, because you know that its the same people that see each other everyday and can tell when there is a newbie in the mix. I met some nice people on the train and LJ always tells me I can make a brickwall talk and sure enough I did. I also made friends with the bus driver who gave me pointers to make my commute a little shorter.

The other thing that I noticed while I was on the train and generally notice when I take funky ways home to avoid traffic is that there are a lot of cool things going on in the city. I just found out that Legally Blonde has a musical! I am absolutely in love with Reese Witherspoon and although she is not the one doing the musical just because she is related to it is enough to make me go watch it. That and I love pink! There are interesting places to eat all over the city some I have heard of, some I have to Yelp to figure out if they are good and other places I am willing to try just to say I did. I don't think I could ever live in the actual city although I say I could live in San Francisco if given the chance. It's just too busy and crowded for me. I may not have the most interesting neighbors that I want to be BFF with but at least they have their space and I have mine.

Oh and in related LA news, I had my first Junior League social last week. It was a lot of fun. One of the girls I met mentioned that the place we had our meeting was kind of like a sorority house (name and all!) and if we had to pose to take a picture it was a soririty for women. Sure enough we had to pose! I ran into some of the same people i met at the open house and new faces too. A lot of the people who just joined are not from California and you can tell by the way they talk are how nice they are. Not saying us Californians or really Southern Californians aren't nice just different. I am so looking forward to getting to explore the city with all the JL girls and forging new friendships with like-minded women. Anyone else doing Junior League in your city?

P.S.: I want a puppy! Especially since I am living in a house that comes with a built in puppy door!

Loo

2009-07-23T13:34:00.000-07:00

Where to begin.....

I haven't said this publicly in blogland but I am moving. Actually let me correct that.... WE ARE MOVING. Yes, you heard it here first (or secondly) LJ and I will be co-habitating. This has actaully been a long time coming but something have changed around here that gave us (me) the final kick to do it. *Edit: We moved, this post has been sitting in draft so long that the move happened Sunday last week!*

Last October I was actually looking to buy a home of my own. I had a real estate agent a pre-approval and MLS lists all over my desks at all times. Then there was an announcement of a merger for the company I work for and it scared me. This isn't my first time at the rodeo. Since I've been with the company I've gone through 5 mergers and 4 relocations (in less than 6 years). Whenever I hear merger my initial thought is "Oh crap, who's getting laid off?" In this case my initial thought was "Oh crap, I can't buy a house anymore!" And I was right. I could have... but it would have sucked and I would be broke with all the changes in income that came with the turn of the economy and merger. I think it worked out for the best because I would have been settling for what I could afford vs. what I wanted vs. what we could afford and vs. what we both wanted. My bf owns his own business and I didn't want to come with empty pockets to the table when we got married.

LJ is expanding his business (yes, even in this economy) and needs to be close to his office at all times because he runs the show. I currently live 15 miles from him and work an additional 35 miles the opposite way. So the compromise? I move closer to him/his office. Weird right? He moved the office to be close to train station for (for me) and all the house stuff will be taken care of. So dinner will be made when I get home, yay! The house cleaning stuff is already being taken care of except for certain things I like to do myself. I've made the drive already and its actually about 90 miles to work roundtrip because I take the least trafficy way. I will be on the train by next month at the latest.

About the house.... We are moving into a real house which is nice. I live in a duplex and having the adjoining wall is a bit much. The new house is a 3 bed, 2 bath with a pool, jacuzzi and a built-in bbq. There is also a flat-screen outside you can watch from the sitting area and the jacuzzi which I think is cool. We also purchased a projector for the family room this weekend and are looking for a 100" screen. The house is mostly unpacked except for the important things like the guest room. The guest room also doubles as my closet/craft area which I am super excited about (or will be at least once its all set up and have all the furniture in.) We have people coming out TOMORROW and I still haven't finished the room. Oops!

I will have pictures of the house up hopefully sometime next week once all the boxes are moved out of the way and I still need to buy a lot of decorating stuff. My walls are pretty barren at this point and the kitchen looks like Christmas sort of. We will be painting to say the least. Oh and of course I will show everyone the new home for the shoes!

So who's coming to visit me and the pool?

Oh and I keep running into Larry King in the parking lot next to work... is that weird?

Ketchup - Nose Job Edition

2009-06-11T14:17:00.000-07:00

So next week I will be going under the knife to get my nose done. I am getting my deviated septum fixed. Wish me luck my surgery is Thursday so if anyone is on Gchat on Friday hit me up b/c I will be in bed and on my computer.
I started a sewing class this week and the hours are a bit brutal. It's almost 5 hours a day 2 days a week. It is fun though. 5 more weeks to go. The kicker is that my mom was a seamstress for almost 15 years and I never learned because she traumatized me as a kid. The Dentist's kids always have the ugliest teeth right?
I finally gave up and started reading Twilight now that the craziness has died down. I just finished the first book and so far... eh. I am going to finish the series just to say I did but I am not super excited about it. I am excited to read the Sookie Stackhouse series which True Blood is based off of.
4th of July I will be in a cabin in Big Bear Lake which I am excited about but at the same time I am afraid I won't be fully recovered from my surgery. If all else fails I will just go out for a really good tan.
I am thinking of buying a street-legal scooter for my commute to work. I don't hate my commute so much but I think it would make it a little bit easier later this summer when the directions change.
One of my bff's adopted a baby last month and we are so excited. She is beautiful.
I want a puppy!
I need to stop shopping at Ebay, seriously its an addiction.
I need to post more pictures up. Is there an easy way to do this?
I got the new Palm Pre. Anyone who has one, wants one or wants to talk about it hit me up.

B/c I am horrible girlfriend and blogger

2009-05-13T13:58:00.001-07:00

I finally got all the pictures back from my friends to do a legit birthday/anniversary/confirmation post.... but I don't have them with me. So real pictureless we go. Overall the whole 2 weeks have been awesome. Even with being sick. So sick that I had to go to the ER and get quarentined b/c I might have swine flu. Obvs I didn't. So where to begin....

Thursday the 30th was my actual birthday and LJ made me my favorite meal steak, asparagus and red potatoes followed by a tiny coconut cake.

My birthday and our anniversary is only 7 days apart so I only get 1 gift for both. I think this year I didn't make out too bad.

Friday I got sick all of a sudden made it to urgent care and was told I had a stomach flu. Which wasn't the case but I kept getting progressively worse. Saturday was my confirmation date. For those out of the loop its a Catholic thing where you are seen as an adult in the eyes of the church. Also if I ever want to get married in a catholic church I needed to do this.This is the real church where this all went down.

LJ and I have an ongoing joke about how white-washed I am even though I am actually still pretty close to my Mexican roots. Hell, my parents don't even speak English. I am fluent in Spanish although I do have a thick American accent. I was born in the States. So The weekend consisted of my birthday, my confirmation, a boxing match and Mexican Food. I told him we basically squeezed in all the Mexican for the year into one weekend. All we were missing was a baptism, a communion and a pinata.

Since I was still sick I didn't get to enjoy the festivities as much as I would have liked. I know the tequila flowing around helped get everyone loosened up and some even hooked up. I was dying by about 11 but I know people stayed up till 2AM.

To round up the weekend I ended up in the ER with a 101.6 fever and no real clue what was wrong with me. It ended up being some sort of virus that eventually ran its course.

This post has been sitting in my drafts too long. I will have real posts later this week.

Happy Birthday to Me!

2009-04-30T15:55:00.001-07:00

So far my birthday has been pretty awesome. I will have a full update at the end of the weekend. So far its included a fancy lunch and diamonds. Can it get any better? I guess we will have to see. Hope ya'll have a great weekend.

Look Ma I Can See!

2009-04-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

I am posting this for @chadscott viewing pleasure. I got new glasses. I don't wear glasses all the time but I need them to read, drive at night and to see far distances. These are my new beauties.

Happy Birthday, Sort of.

2009-04-26T20:55:00.000-07:00

My birthday is this week, on Thursday I will be 26 to be exact. I bought myself a little gift for my birthday and couldnt wait till Thursday to play with it. See below.

I couldn't suck it up to buy a real lens but I bought these filters that let me get pretty close up. I am so excited to shoot again. Yay!

Spring Cleaning - Shoes

2009-04-12T21:13:00.001-07:00

I've been meaning to go through my closets for a long time b/c honestly they are overflowing. I don't say this in a bragging manner. Matter of fact I don't even have a built on closet. Currently my shoes are living out of the hall closet which houses 90% of my shoes (the others strewn about my house, car and office) and some of my dresses.

I just wanted to show you some of the shoes that are in said closet. I have some awesome ones in their but you can't tell b/c of the size of the picture. Also for anyone that is wondering each of these shoes are housed in their own individual plastic see through boxes. Even though I tried to clean out my shoes only 1 pair is going to be donated and about 6 pairs are going to the shoe fixer. So much for getting rid of shoes.

Road Rants volume 1

2009-03-24T15:41:00.000-07:00

I already started numbering these because I have a feeling there will be a lot more to come considering I am driving 70 miles every day to work.

Dear Guy with the Cigarrette,

It's okay if you want to die with your cigarrette smoke but don't make me smell it too. I let my A/C bring in whats supposed to be fresh air not cancer causing rat poison. Please close your windows and hot box yourself and let the rest of breathe freely.

Sincerely,
Not looking to die in my 20's.

Dear Ladies on the Cell Phones,

You know who gives women drivers a bad name, you do! There is a reason there is a law in California not to let people on their cell phones as they drive. If you are too busy yapping away on your cell phone chances are you either are distracted and drive slow (ie 10 miles below speed limit in the fast lane) or worse you don't turn your head or signal when you change lanes. One of these days I am gonna let you hit me in front of a cop and see what happens to your insurance rates for being an idiot.

Sincerely,
See you in arbitration.

Dear Old People,

If you can't see pass your steering wheel chance are you shouldn't be driving. Call your grandson skippy to take you out for a drive to do errands. I am tired of the slow driving in the fast lanes or the merging without signals. Please for your safety and mine.

Sincerly,
Trying not to rear-end you

Friends in Low Places

2009-03-17T14:55:00.001-07:00

Last week Molly posted about making friends and it got me thinking. I love the friends I have don't get me wrong but I hardly ever see them. I am 25, living with a roommate and I have a bf the rest of my friends (all girls I grew up with) are now married, married with babies or doing the single-mom thing. Nothing against how they are living their lives it just doesn't mesh well for a Wednesday Night Wine Tasting or other adult spontaneous activities.

My roommate is super cool so we hang out at the house a lot which is almost like having a built in friend. We were friends before we moved in together but not all BFF (oh and we work for the same company). My old roommate and I actually hang out more with socially now b/c I know where to go when I need a drink.

Anyway, I still feel like I am missing in the friend front. I haven't made any new friends outside of work or living situations for many many years. Although my old friends I can call out of nowhere and pick up the conversation like we just spoke yesterday its still not the same as having a real close friend that I actually did have a conversation with yesterday.

After Molly did her post went back and read the comments for suggestions on what to do. The funny thing is that she mentioned her Physical Therapist to be friends with. I want to be friends with my Chiropractor but I have no idea on how to say hey lets hang out without it being weird. She told me she does spin at the same gym but I've tried spin and its too hard-core for me. One day I will get some neve and not sound weird.

One of the suggestions that kept coming up was Junior League. I actually had never heard of the organization before. I guess out on the east coast its a big to-do. I looked up the website for my local chapter and lo' and behold there was actually orientation for new members. Fortunately, my nervousness did not get the better of me and I went ahead and registered. The timing actually worked out b/c the organization I was previously doing my volunteer work has been on a downhill slide with organization and I was no longer being useful there. I was looking for a new challenge.

The new memeber orientation was on Saturday and I actually decided to join. The group of women is very diverse. I was expecting at home moms with a lot of time on their hands. I would say the group was 24-32 professional with lives outside of the home. The meeting was held at the home of one of the recruitment chairs which was beautiful and she had a full spread of food set out early in the morning. She is one of those super-organized not of this world energy person to get it all ready. There was also a lot of bling going on. Newly engaged, planning a wedding or just married was the story for most of these girls. One day I will be there.

I am pretty excited about joining Junior League even though orientation is now the actual group doesnt start until the Fall. Best part? There is a formal event in the Spring! Hey who doesn't like a reason to get really dressed up?

Feed Me!

2009-03-11T14:25:00.000-07:00

I probably shouldn't be writing this post when I still haven't had lunch but what can you do? I bought a slow-cooker over Thanksgiving and sad to sat that is it still in the plastic. I really don't know how to cook and even with the help of the slow-cooker the task seems daunting. Anyway, I am looking for recomendations of what to do with contraption. Anyone?

Oh and I don't eat pork so no pork chops for me.

Also any good really really easy cookbook recommendations would be greatly appreciated.

Where the paycheck comes from

2009-03-06T12:40:00.000-08:00

I wish I could talk about work more openly it would probably make for a more interesting blog. Here are a few of the highlights:

My work is one of the places that has been splashed all over the news with lay-offs.
I survived a lay-off back in Thanksgiving which I am thankful for.
I got transferred to a new location that is not necessarily a lot farther but because of location it can take me 2 1/2 hours to get home from work sometimes. (38 miles in LA?)
It takes me about an 1 1/2 to get to work right now.
I can't afford to have lunch out everyday anymore b/c of the change in my personal economy and location of new offices. (I am not going to spend $20 dollars on a sandwhich)
I have doubled my gas bill but I still can justify taking public transportation because its a joke. Even with the company picking up half of the tab I can't let myself get carsick every day on a train.
I've been with the company 5 years and this is my 4th relocation. Everyone always asks me why I don't move with my work my response is why? I am probably going to get moved again so might as well stay close to friends and family.
I actually have to put on make up on every day and real work clothes most days now.
My soul selling has so far gotten me a tank of gas and utility bill paid. I have some change for lunch too.
Being so much on the road not only causes wear and tear on you car but on your brain too. In some cases more on the brain than on the car.
The most exciting thing last week was that they repaved the ugliest street with the worst potholes that I use as an exit.

2009-02-24T09:08:00.000-08:00

It's taken me 2 days to write this post because I have been sick. I stole this post from this lady .The funny thing is that a lot of her answers and mine are very much alike.

What are your middle names?
Um… I don’t like mine. My whole name together sounds like a bad latin soap opera name. His is Raymond.

How long have you been together?
2 years in May.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
A week. If you count the time we spent online talking back and forth on IM. For the record if anyone doesn’t know we met on CL. Yes, Craigslist the home o the freakies.

Who asked whom out?
Technically I did. We both knew it was gonna happen I was just the one that nailed down the time and the place.

How old are each of you?
LJ is 29, I am 25.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
His, one lives near us and we visit / they visit enough to see them a couple of times a year

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Right now we are going through some role-reversals which are good and bad all at once. Over-all good. I have come to terms also with some of my traditionalisms which throws a wrench in some of our plans but I think in the long run it will work out for the best.

Did you go to the same school?
No, LJ is from the Northwest and I am from Southern California. Either way I give him a hard time b/c we wouldn’t have even been in high school at the same time. He’s so old.

Are you from the same hometown?
No, totally different places.

Who is smarter?
We are both geniuses. Kidding, sort of. We are very alike but we both have different strengths.

Who is the most sensitive?
I say me. I at least show it more.

Where do you eat out most as a couple? 
This little breakfast place about half way on the otherside of town

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
To his hometown to see his family.

Who has the craziest exes?
Me, hands down. Not proud of it but it’s true.

Who has the worst temper?
Neither of us really have a temper but I do get annoyed a lot easier.

Who does the cooking?
LJ. I really can’t cook. Besides, he’s an awesome cook.

Who is the neat-freak?
Neither of us. I have come to terms with my neat-freakness otherwise it would take over my life. When I am really upset I clean like crazy. If you ever come to my house and my house wasn’t cleaned by someone else recently watch out.

Who is more stubborn?
I am going to say him. But I am pretty bad myself. The good thing is that we agree about 98% of the time.

Who hogs the bed? 
Me. Including the blankets.

Who wakes up earlier?
I do, b/c I actually have to be at work by a certain time. Even on the weekends I am up earlier. I can’t help it. Though I am not a morning person.

Where was your first date? 
A micro-brew on the water. We ate the same thing. I asked him why was he trying to be like me. He said we just think alike.

Who is more jealous?
Um, maybe me. Neither of us really overall.

How long did it take to get serious? 
Date one? We went through a lot of the first through date 10 questions/answers within the first week of e-mails. We already knew that we were going to be together. The first date was a formality.

Who eats more? 
I do. Easily. I can finish my food and half of his.

Who does the laundry?
Neither of us. I am way nit-picky on how it’s done. LJ doesn’t care and throws it all in. So if anyone started to do it, it would probably be me.

Who’s better with the computer? 
He hates Macs so that automatically makes me better. I am better considering that I do tech work part-time. I am PC friendly as well.

Who drives when you are together?
He drives. And when we are on “date nights” he still opens the door for me.

Brought to you by the letter V

2009-02-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

I was given a letter by the lovely Brookem. The point is to write about 10 things you love about the letter... in my case V.

If you want to participate, leave a comment on this post and I will assign you a letter. You then write about 10 things you love that begin with your assigned letter and post them on your blog. When people comment on your posted list, you give them a letter and the chain continues on and on.

Alright... on with the show....

Valentines Day: Seriously who doesn't love a day full of pink and hearts and love? That and you normally get to have a yummy meal with someone you love. Don't get me wrong I've had a couple of doozies on V-day... but over all its still a day of love (even if it just your mom getting you bubble bath when you are single).

Vanilla: Anything. I love the smell of vanilla, the taste of vanilla. I could roll around in vanilla if it wasnt you know... beans.

Victoria Secret: I love there cotton underpants. They are cute. Oh and yeah they have all that other lingerie stuff... for everyone else. oh and their Vanilla Lace spray.

Valentino: He makes such pretty things.

V-Card: Mine hasn't been around for a while but I am glad when I lost it that it wasn't just wasted with some random.

Vacation: as in I need one. I honestly don't think I will be getting a vacation anytime soon, probably say not till the honeymoon. my last vacation was a working vacation. I would like to say our honeymoon would be in Australia if I had a choice (or the money!!!).

V: my work BFF. Older, wiser, skinnier. She is where I want to be in 10 years. Homeowner (on her own!) porshe driver (paid off!) living the good life. She is smart, funny and if she was a little taller and a dude I would so date her.

Vampires: On tv in the HBO Show True Blood. I love it! Mind you I am not into the genre as a whole but I totally love this show.

Velvet Cake: Seriously, 'nough said.

Vodka!: The creator of many great memories and many horrible mornings. I can drink this stuff like a fish as long as I dont mix. Cheers!

That's it folks! Don't forget to respond if you want a letter of your own.

I'm selling my soul for pennies on the dollar

2009-01-21T12:21:00.000-08:00

Everyone I know has been affected by this down-turn in the economy one way or another. I have a nice woe-ful story I could tell you but then it would be a debbie downer post.

I'm not sure how many if anyone knows I have a second job. I was one of those kids that always needed something to do otherwise I become completely useless. It also helps that when I got my second job I hated my ex and any excuse to get out of the house (and make money!) was good enough for me. So what's my talent? I build stuff. Computery stuff. I like hardware and software and making it work on a small scale and sometimes on a large scale. Who knew huh? These skills were acquired from having a slacker nerdy bf that was a real computer nerd many years ago. Another sad story. My second gig is actually pretty sweet and I enjoy what I do. If I could do it full time (which I have before) I would absolutely do it again. For right now I am not in a position to be without health benefits and I can't eat 99 cent burgers like I used to.

Anyway, since my job dynamic has/is changing quite dramatically I am trying to rub every nickel I have together in hopes of having penny babies. It's been a couple of years since I have really had to worry about money. The good thing is that I have been able to keep most of my living expenses relatively low, but with all the changes buying a house has been put on hold.

So whats a girl who already has a second gig supposed to do? Ebay. I am just starting out but I am hoping that eventually I will be able to do something profitable with it. Combinging 2 things I love computers and shopping. Look for my soul with a buy it now of $5.00.

Interview Me!

2009-01-14T11:57:00.000-08:00

There's this thing floating around the internet that I stole from Kari, well sort of. She did the interview questions. But, first, the rules:

1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone
else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them
five questions.

And the questions:

1. What is your favorite word?
Snufalufagus? It's just funny.
2. Which is cuter, puppies or kittens?
I am going to have to go with puppies. I actually grew up with both but to tell you the truth whenever I have had kittens I have had them try to suffocate me in my sleep or scratch the crap out of my hands and therefore makes them not my number 1 choice. Besides you can't walk a cat and they aren't as cuddly as puppies.
3. What is your favorite holiday and why?
Hmmm this is a tough one. I don't like Christmas or Thanksgiving. New Year's is overrated. I've had some craptacular Valentines days. Even though when I am single my mom still buys me something so I don't feel so alone. So 4th of July b/c normally there is a good party and everyone loves America.
4. What was your weirdest dream?
I've had a couple of weird dreams over the years. Without going into a super long story about my best friend in high school... he stopped talking to us over a rumor that I am now assuming is true. We tried to hunt him down but he kept avoiding us. Anyway, in my dreams I find him in odd places like in a dark parking lot and I yell out his name but instead of responding to me he always backs away from me with a wide-eyed look on his face. One time I got him cornered in his car and I thought he was going to talk but I woke up before he did. There is also the one where I was in the shower and the house caught on fire. Oh and there was demented clowns chasing me around. I actually like clowns though.
5. Which came first? The chicken or the egg?
The egg had to come first. You know if a dog and cat had a baby whatever they popped out would have become the new "chicken".

Leave a comment. :)

Cookies? Delurking?

2009-01-13T10:53:00.000-08:00

So our dear Nichole at More is Better hosted a Sweet Treat Exchange last month. I've been meaning to get around to this post but i figured this would be a good time to do it. I am trying to figure out who sent me cookies from Boise, ID. At first I thought it was my bf's sister b/c she is in Idaho until I realized the city was wrong. Without knowing where the cookies came from we still ate them. I am so trusting of the internet. :)

Anyway, On to the big topic of the week even though I have already missed a couple of days of it. I don't know who actually reads my blog besides the usual suspects. Even if you think you are a usual suspect please comment I would like to know that my dribble isn't just going into a dark hole in the universe. Oh and leave your links incase I don't already read you.

** Off to go delurk at the many places I visit but never say anything ***

P.S. for anyone who is keeping track I am down over 2o lbs I will have a real number on Friday.

In Review... Looking Forward...

2009-01-01T18:59:00.000-08:00

I can't say anything spectacular happened in 2008. I've had a couple less than stellar moments involving work and my family. These things were out of my control and I just tried dealing with them as best as I could.

This next year I am expecting to see a couple of changes in life for the good. You could call them goals but these are already works in progress.

Keep losing weight. So far so good. Need to start hitting the whole thing harder.
Hoping to get engaged this year. LJ's business is doing well so it seems more likely to happen now. We've already talked about it. Yes, he knows about my imaginary wedding. He is planning the imaginary honeymoon. Now can we get to the REAL ring?
Figure out what I am going to do workwise. I don't want to get put in a position that I am not comfortable with.
Still need to figure out what to do school wise. I am getting transferred with work so I think that is going to make it even harder b/c of the location.
Need to get a real budget and stick to it. Money will be getting tighter next year. The economy is affecting me too ya'll.
I already work with a charity organization, plus my world vision kids but I want to start something else.
Start paring down my stuff. I have too much stuff. Or at least organize it better. Ebay anyone?

Ketchup - Holiday Edition

2008-12-28T17:05:00.000-08:00

I wish I had a grand story to tell but I don't. So here are tidbits of whats been going on.

I am down 18 lbs., but honestly I am totally slacking off. I need to get back on the wagon.
Mom made tamales and I have a crapload of them sitting in my freezer... yet I am on a diet.
My bf and I did stocking this year b/c we did our big ticket items a month ago. I will smell good for the rest of my life. He got me a lot of smelly stuff plus some jewelery.
For those that are wondering what I got. I got a Wii! I need Wii Friends for Mario Kart if there are any of you out there. Oh and I want to do a Mii Parade.
I've been slow on my reading so I am still on American Wife.
Work has been slow. I don't talk about it much here but the company is all over the news or was in the last couple of months and it is affecting me directly. Everyone tells me I am lucky to still have a job.
Reason #5012 that my bf rocks: I am not much of a holidays person but my bf surprised me earlier in the month with my first ornament for my tree. This is the first time I have bought a tree for my own house on my own since I have lived with my parents.
Does anyone else watch infomercials late at night and want to buy the product. I really want the Cricut Cutter but I can't justify the price tag. Oh well there is still next Christmas.
My closet is full of clothes which is good... too bad not all of them fit.
I hate to say this but with most of the girls gone from my office with the lay-offs it feels kinda lonley.
LJ's mom sent me the church's cook book. I've just learned 1001 things to do with ground beef.
Am I the only one who has started planning their imaginary wedding with the bf that they have down to the guest list except there is no ring on the finger? Is that just me? Don't tell me I am crazy.
Speaking of crazy... some girl called LJ on christmas day at almost 10pm at night. I was like WTF? I was like who is that and why is she calling you so late? He didn't take the call. Said its just a friend that he made when he first moved down here, but he hasn't talked to her in forever. Still feels weird some girl calling my man.
Met LJ's fake grandma and family who lives nearby. They are pretty cool. Lot's of food. Mmm. Turkey.

Starting to feel a lot like Christmas....

2008-12-10T11:20:00.000-08:00

Last year was the first year I had really celebrated Christmas in a long time. My family hasn't hosted Christmas since about when I moved away from home. Since then I never really did Christmas tree's or any other kind of celebrating save the office holiday party.

So far this year I have gone to see the christmas lights, sent out some Christmas Cards and actually have a real live tree in my house. Honestly, I think all this Christmas cheer has to do with LJ's love for the holidays. Before I was always the grinch and never wanted to participate in anything holiday related. I know that this year we will be going to Christmas Mass which I am pretty excited about. I will also be making home-made spiked eggnog for our christmas potluck.

When we were in the Northwest we went to Advent services at LJ's families church. They had just built this new church b/c the last one was too small. It was a beautiful church that was massive! It was a great service and the priest made it feel like it was a 2 drink minimum and the bad thing was that instead of completely focusing on the service **sorry God!** I was thinking "I could totally get married here!" Before anybody gets any bright ideas. No there was no engagement.

So I am actually looking forward to having a festive holiday this year. Everything may not be perfect in the world but we should at least enjoy some of the few happy moments we do have.

Thanksgiving in the woods - better late than never!

2008-12-02T23:04:00.000-08:00

This year for LJ's birthday I actually planned ahead. I bought him tickets to go see his family for a week in the potato state. Compared to last year's fiasco of a 6 hours before the flight I figured this should be easy breezy.

First off when you have way too much time to think of stuff to bring you end up bringing everything but the kitchen sink *even though I considered it*. The flights weren't actually 2 bad. Well, except on the way back when I didnt realize we were supposed to make 2 stops during the flight. I actually brought a nice coat with me this time so I wouldn't freeze my keester off. It was so nice that while I was running across the street on some shopping venture some ladies yelled out to me ask me where I got it from.

You know you are loved when everyone knows that you are eating healthy even through one of the unhealthiest days of the year and they make the whole Thanksgiving dinner out of Cooking Light Magazine." LJ's grandpa almost had a heart attack over the idea but everyone enjoyed the meal. As light as it may have been it was pretty tasty. I had been bugging LJ to take me to Canada since we were already so close but that didnt happen. This ended up being a working vacation for both of us. Not with my real job but with helping the family. We at least got to see everyone in the family.

LJ's sister and I actually got to bond a good chunk of the time I was there. Everyone has made her out to be a super villan but once you get to know her she's not bad. She's a nice girl that has just made a few mistakes. Not saying she has necessarily learned from all her mistakes but she is really young and honestly at her age I hadn't either. So who am I to judge? In all this bonding time with LJ's sis and her mom I tried to get some dirt that I hadn't heard before. Either they were being nice and not selling him down the river or there really is no dirt. The only comment that LJ's sister made was that LJ was adament about not getting into a serious relationship until he was completely financially established *not in the middle of his start-up company*, yet they know he is serious and ready to settle down with me. There must also be some level of trust b/c other information was shared with me about other people in relation to the family that I probably wouldn't have heard otherwise.

Oh did I forget to mention that I went to my first Black Friday sales. Actually not as bad as everyone makes them out to be. Doesn't help that I didnt go to bed till 11pm to get up at 2am. That's what happens when you are out in the sticks. Last but not least I did not gain any weight over the week I was on vacay including thanksgiving and a prime rib dinner. I count that as a success.

Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out - An Open Letter

2008-11-11T20:09:00.001-08:00

Dear Fat,

It's time for you to go. We've had a bad run for the last 6 years since the car accident. You are like my loser brother that I let sleep on my couch so long that it seems like you are gonna live here forever. I've hired the Lindora movers to get you the hell out of my life.

I know it's a drastic step to have to Lindora help get you out but I have tried so many times on my own and it never worked. This is it. I am 25 years old and I want to live a long healthy life. I don't want to be a fat bride that has to huff and puff up the church steps. I want to have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. I don't want to have kids to see what kind of food to maintain the level of fat I have. I want them to be healthy and active. I want LJ to be healthy too. Before he met me he was on the right track but you were the horrible fat elephant in the room that dragged us back to the bad habits.

I hope to never see you again.

Sincerely,

Looking at smaller pants.

P.S. I would like to thank Goddess and Jess for being inspirations.

P.P.S. I've been on Lindora since Thursday and down 10 lbs.

Tagged!

2008-11-03T14:30:00.000-08:00

Geez I can't remember the last time I got tagged.... so Magda did me the favor of taking the ugly girl home from the bar to put her out of her misery. Or the bar out of it's misery. Either way.

So six things about me....

My Spanish... not so bueno. Well depends on who you ask. I can read out loud but I probably can't tell you what it all means. My vocabulary is above "see spot run" but not much above that. I can write but I know its all spelled wrong. A native speaker can spot a mile away that Spanish is a secondary language and not a first, then they make fun of me. None of my friends speak Spanish which would help in my Spanish speaking abilities. The kicker is that my business card says "Hablo Espanol." The good thing is that it hasn't really been tested. All of my American friends think I am 100% fluent. Maybe b/c I tell them that I am and they don't know any better.
Sometimes people catch me concentrating and think I am having a real thought but really I am just doing clothing comibinations in my head, planning my next mani/pedi/massage.
The reason I cardmake besides the fact that I love real mail and sending it out is b/c I suck at scrapbooking. It's hard to scrapbook when you don't take a lot of pictures.
People in blogland don't know that I have a crazy shoe collection. They have their own seperate closet and are in clear plastic boxes. Now you know what Mel is short for. Seriously.
Since I started LJ I have become a horrible drinker. As in I used to be able to drink the best of them under the table. Now I am good on 2 drinks and thats it. LJ tells me he wouldn't want to be dating "that girl."
I started college when I was 16. See? I am smarter than I look. Now when I will finish that is yet to be decided.

As for the tagging... anyone who reads me (the 3 of you) you're it!

Rambling

2008-10-24T10:19:00.000-07:00

I thought I would have something awesome to write but my brain is mush from the week. So here is a little recap of everything that has/is going on:

I will be going to the Northwest for Thanksgiving to see LJ's family. I actually bought the tickets the middle of last month for LJ for his birthday which is the week before Thanksgiving. He is excited to see his family. I am excited to see his family too. Although, the last 2 times I have seen them I have been sick as a dog and I am hoping not on the 3rd time. Also, a lot of my shopping has been taken up with buying warm things for cold weather. Cuz in California? We have sunshine and puppies.
Speaking of which? Sweet Baby Jesus its hot! I have all these cute Fall clothes and boots that I want to wear but even though I am by the beach its still hot!
I've been house a dog my old roommate picked up 2 weeks ago in my backyard. He was on a main street and almost got hit by a car. She couldn't take him to the pound afraid of crying so I took him to a no-kill shelter but they wouldn't take him. The neighborhood is covered in signs and no one has looked for him. He is a great a dog but I can't keep one at my house. I will have to find him a home.
My new roommate is moving in on Halloween. Sadly *pathetically* I have no plans for Halloween. Am I too old to get dressed up? Yeah.
There is a restaurant in our neighborhood that we went to for V-day this year that was so awesome and yummy that we wanted to go back for dinner service. Then their chef quit. They still have breakfast which is awesome but for the last 8 months they have been taunting us with "Oh we will be open in the Fall". Guess what ya'll? Its Fall. And it's still not open.
I am making another huge cake next week. This one is for Halloween. You know what? I am still over cake.
My house for some odd reason gets real hot and right now with this weather its even worse . I can't bear turn on the AC b/c paying $188 electric bills between 2 people makes me wanna cry. Also, with this hotness my wine fridge struggles to keep my wine cool. It was so bad that I thought it was broken. LJ took it to his office to ship and turns out it works over there just fine. Now I have 2 wine fridges.
There is a general consensus going around that I am weird b/c a) the thought of living in Seattle where its nice and cool albeit wet is very appealing and b) that I am okay with Gay marriage. I would think I live in place that has open-minded individuals but apparently I don't. I say let everyone be as happy or as miserable as everyone else.
For any of you who check your stats and know where my cubicle is. I know as much as everyone knows and all I know is that we are set out for a bumpy ride next year.

Cheers!

That Dream Where It All Goes Down In Flames

2008-10-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

I realize there are a lot of things in my everyday life that I don't normally write about here. Most of my friends think I am a do-gooder. For the most part I am pretty modest about what I do for good of the world and whenever anyone asks me why I do what I do my usual answer is to build karma points for whenever I do something really bad and hopefully have some left over when I get to the pearly gates.

This week I had an event that I organized for the women's group I mentor with for make-overs for women that are coming back into the work force. I've actually been working on this for 2 months trying to get people to come and help. You would think that working with a group that has a well recognized name would help the situation but not so much. The saying is time is money and money is time. People are being stingy with both.

I was finally able to conjure up 2 hair stylist and a make up artist for our event. I had a location and catering and goodie bags for the women participating in our event. It was all gravy. *Que the heaven music*

As I was doing my final confirmations for the people working our event in a span of 12 hours *i.e. the morning of* All 3 backed out. *Doom!*

So what do I do? The funny thing is that I had already had a dream about this happening and in that dream I had no resolution. We have 15 people coming for this plus our regulars and I have no hair and makeup people. Yikes!

With any problem you can throw money at it is what I have learned. Our event was being hosted at a major department store and we had many ins and one of my own personal ins. I guess if you shop their enough it comes in handy. Said department store has lots of Make-up and make-up artists. After some groveling and lots of money spent 4 of the counters agreed to do make-up for the under privileged. Oh and me b/c you can't host a make-over event and look like hell yourself.

So yeah maybe there was no hair done but the women who came did get their make up done and free stuff and a free dinner. Better than me trying to do a song and dance and sending them on their way right?

Open Letters

2008-10-08T11:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Mom,

Do you remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer got sent to hell and Flanders was the devil? You know the one with donut? Where when he went to hell and got fed donuts as punishment?

I know how it feels now. Taking this cake decorating class sounded like a great idea when you and I discussed originally. I didn't mind spending the money (x2) or having to pick you up on my way home from work and driving you home at 10pm. What I do mind is that I have cake leftover up to my ears and I can't stand the taste of frosting. Before during class I would lick it off. Now I have wet wipes b/c the smell of sugar overtakes me. BTW did you realize how much Crisco is in frosting? And my gone Sunday/Monday nights before class for prep? Ugh.

Never again Mom. Let try sewing next time.

With a frosting full belly,
your hija

Dear Current Roommate,

I am glad you found a home to call your own. I am even glader that all your stuff won't be taking over the whole house. What you call clean and what I call clean are 2 different stories so don't forget to take your dust bunnies with you.

With your housewarming gift packed,
the cleaner of the 2

Dear Work,
What happened to the good ol' days of hours of 9-4:30 plus a 2 hour lunch. Quit kicking my ass and I will love you. Right now I love the paychecks but hate the hours.

your slave,
paycheck in wallet

Dear Paycheck,

Quit dissapearing me.

- dwindling bank account

Seems like a lifetime ago....

2008-09-11T20:33:00.000-07:00

Sept. 11, 2001. It was my first fall out of high school. I was done being an office bitch for the summer and was off to my training for a sales job. I was on my way to training around 7 something in the morning west coast time. I was listening to a local shock jock and they were talking about what had happened earlier in the morning. I thought it was a sick joke and was just disgusted at the show.

I made it to training and turns out it was true. It was all true.

Commitments, decisions & a whole lotta money

2008-09-08T16:48:00.000-07:00

Even though it seems like I am never around I am always reading. I read so much that I hardly ever write myself. I used to write when I was in the office but I've just been so dang busy that I don't even get to do that anymore. Busy at work is always a lot better than twiddling my thumbs.

The big news of the last couple of months is that LJ and I have been talking about moving in together. It's been going on since March but I didnt want to jinx it by going public with it before knowing it was all happening. The bigger news is that I decided to buy a house. The original plan was to move in together but considering the amount of rent that we are willing to pay we can afford a house. Worse comes to worse I can afford a house. I've learned my lesson about mixing finances before marriage and I'm not willing to do it again.

So where do we live? How big of a house? We have an idea of what we want b/c we have specific needs. 2 bedroom, would prefer a house over a townhouse, would prefere a townhouse over a condo. Beggars can't be chooser though. We need a 2 car garage (considering we have 3 cars between the 2 of us), air conditioning, i would like hardwood floors but its not really a deal breaker.

The other part of the move is really with location. LJ and I live about 17 miles apart and I live 17 miles farther from work. The city I live in is my hometown and all my friends and family are here. He is from the Northwest with only a brother out here but all his friends (frat brothers) all live near him now. His office is less than a mile away from his current location. Living in LA or in the near vicinity even if something is really not that far it can still be a pain to drive to b/c of LA/OC traffic. Anyone who has to deal with 405 going anyway during rush hour knows what I am talking about. I actually don't want to move closer to work b/c I really dont care for the area. I kind of want to stay in the city I am in now but I know I can't afford to buy in the neighborhood I currently live in. LJ would prefer that I move as close to his office as possible as he knows he is not going anywhere anytime soon since I really don't know what my plan is for the next couple of years. Honestly, the thought of commiting to live anywhere for the next 5 years is pretty scary considering that I have been out of my parents house for 7 years and the longest time I have lived in one place was 3 years and almost everywhere else for less than a year. Different cities different counties.

I've already put a couple of offers in and have been outbid and that's even putting in at asking price. The market seems to have slowed down with the end of summer but I would ideally like this straightened out by the end of the year. I am just hoping I can find not the place I am truly in love with but something that is better than rental living that can be a good write-off for the next couple of years. My roommate already found a place that she just went into escrow with this last week so she will be moving and guess what that means? LJ will be moving in next month.

I love Cake!

2008-09-08T16:46:00.000-07:00

It's great see that everyone out in blogland is having a pretty productive summer. I wonder how some people make the time to be able to write everyday. I have been relatively busy for the last couple of weeks with my life starting to make a little more sense.

I can't cook. There I said it. I don't think I am the only one out there that can admit to this. My mom tried teaching me growing up but I always refused. I think it had something to do with her prefacing the lesson with "If you don't learn how to cook no man will ever love you." So I purposely never learned how to cook to prove her wrong. B/c you know what Mom? Men still love me and they cook for me! The only thing that sucks about this is that when you are single you don't have anyone to cook for you or worse if you do have someone you don't want to bother them with the cooking all the time. So what's a girl to do? Take a cooking class. Last week was my first day at said class. My roommate is taking the class as well. The teacher was threatened by the Dean if there was not enough participation in the class that it would be cancellled. Just b/c LJ wanted me to learn so bad he enrolled in the class in hopes getting the class not cancelled. Turns out it was too little too late. The class was cancelled. :(

My domestic dreams all turned upside down I try to make lemonade out of the lemons I was handed. I looked at the rest of the schedule and decided to take a cake decorating class. B/c who knows when it might come in handy right? I may want to decorate my wedding cake or something in the far off future. So there you go. I am gonna have my domestic cake and decorate it too.

2 + 2 = 5

2008-09-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

It seems everyone but me had something fun going on for Labor Day weekend. Sadly in my 25th year of life it feels like I am closer to 40 than 25. I ended up working over the weekend and doing homework. I did hang out with LJ but even that consisted of him helping me with my homework.

One of my goals for 2008 was to go back to school. So here I am universe, in school! I don't know if it was my brightest ideas to start with one of the classes I am dreading and having the biggest mental block over but might as well jump in heads first b/c it really cant't get much worse than this. Oh for the record I am taking a math class. Not even a class that would be considered hard just a class that I never took in high school. Intermediate Algebra. So if any of you are really good at math send me a g-chat invitation I could use all the help/moral support I can get.

I finished the homework on time *thank gawd* but I still want to do the bonus work. My over-acheiving even if it sucks I am gonna do it self won't let me not do the bonus work.

Open Letters

2008-07-12T09:43:00.000-07:00

Dear Mall,

Last Sunday I was reminded why I hate visiting you. You are crowded and have a lot of useless stores you have people trying to pull you away from the crowds to sell you something useless. The parking lot is full of people who don't know how to drive, who try to run you over even when you are in the cross walk. With your 5 bajilloon teeny-boppers just taking up space b/c the have nothing better to do on a Sunday night.

Also for letting soccer moms put their kids on leashes. Seriously! It's bad enough that the kids on a leash but the worse part is that she can't even control the kid who is running her all over the place (including into me). A little Dog whisperer anyone?

With all that said I will do what I have been doing for all these years to avoid the inner hell of the mall.... Go during lunch on weekdays only to the anchor stores. Or not at the mall at all.

Not Loving You,

Shopping Elsewhere

To: All the girls that hang out in the office bathroom

Get a life. We are not in high school anymore. Let a girl drop off the kids at pool in peace.

-Girl in Stall 3

Note to Self

2008-07-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

As your mom told you don't do anything bad that looks good or anything good that looks bad. It normally ends up biting you in the ass. Also, don't do anything that would jeopardize any of your work relationships. You know what you did and look a year later it came back to haunt you not from the direct party involved but a close relation that could have really fucked you.

Really it could all be a hallucination but there is enough guilt there for you to question the whole scenario.

Bad Mel.

Summer Reading Extravaganza

2008-06-26T07:44:00.000-07:00

Since all the Cool Kids are doing it... here I am with my Summer Reading list:

Love the One You're With - Emily Giffin
Shoe Addicts Annoymous - Beth Harbison
How to Be Single - Liz tuccillo
The Wedding Officer - Anthony Capella
Chasing Harry Winston - Lauren Weisenberger
Certain Girls - Jennifer Weiner
The Gate Crasher - Madeleine Wickham (AKA Sophie Kinsella)
Remember Me? - Sophie Kinsella
The Office of Desire - Martha Moody
Queen of Babble in the Big City - Meg Cabot
The Best Day of Someone Else's Life - Kerry Reichs

I've bought most of these books within the last 3 weeks but have been putting most of my time into crotcheting. I am almost done with my first scarf and now moving on to a throw blanket. Maybe I should be buying audiobooks so I can do both a the same time.

As for the books on my list.... I doubt I will get through them by September but it will be fun trying. There are some new authors in here I have never read along with some favorites that have new books out. I am not sure how many people knew that Sophie Kinsella's real name is Madeleine Wickham. This is also the first time I have read a Meg Cabot book. Lauren Weisenberger is the author who wrote The Devil Wears Prada and also Everyone Worth Knowing which I do recommend. I've read Martha Moody before and I liked her enough to buy another one of her books. Certain Girls is the sequel to Good in Bed but the storyline is probaby not what you would expect. Jennifer Weiner is the author who wrote In Her Shoes. For the record the book is way better than the movie. Go read it!

So that's that. I now need to go get ready for work before I am late. I also have some pics I have to post for you guys to see the new excitement in my house.

It's one way to start a diet

2008-06-16T17:23:00.000-07:00

Since Saturday I've lost 6 pounds and counting. New diet? Cabbage only? No carbs, all meat you ask? No! No way to kick start a diet like food poisoning! I don't know how I got it or when I got it all I know is that it's still here. I have wasted a Monday doing absolutely nothing b/c I haven't been able to be away from the potty too long and everything hurts. I think the only perk I have had is that I have been able to catch up on my feeder.

As for the weekend... it makes for an interesting ride when you are with 2 guys in a car for 8 hours. Somewhere between the confederate flags and the deer signs and the cow fields I knew I wasn't in LA anymore. LJ called this the drama side of the family and he wasn't kidding. The bride and groom were really sweet. I only wish them a happy life.

When we went to see LJ's family for Christmas last year I was lucky enough to get sick then too. I wonder if his mom ever thinks "this sickly girl". The more I get to know LJ's mom the more I realize that we think a lot a like. The funny thing is that LJ and my mom think a lot alike too. When LJ went to go run an errand his mom and I touched a sticky subject that I have an opinion on but I thought I was the only one. LJ has a little brother CJ who is a year older than me. He's a nice enough guy gives me a hard time. LJ tells me that its because his little brother is threatened by the fact that LJ and I have such a close relationship. Anyway CJ has a girlfriend that he has been on and off for 2 1/2 years. His gf lets call her SS is a nice enough girl, smart, pretty. She has been nothing but gracious and kind towards me. The bad thing is that for some odd reason she just drives me up the wall. Maybe it's b/c she is pretentious without a clue.

When LJ's mom and I were talking she pointed out that she didn't know why CJ was with SS if they will never get married. CJ has told his mom that he has thought about moving back to the Northwest and giving up life here in SoCal. SS has just earned a graduate degree and has stated that she will take a job wherever (i.e East Coast) she can get one. When LJ and I were talking about going up North to see his family and he mentioned CJ was coming and so was SS the first thing out of my mouth was "Why is she coming? It's not like they are gonna be together." LJ has even made comments starting with" I hope CJ's next girlfriend...". Maybe it's because we are on the outside and not looking in. Then again you never know what goes on behind closed doors . I really shouldn't care as much, yet I do. It will work it's self out no matter what LJ, LJ's Mom or I think.

It doesn't count as indecent exposure...

2008-06-10T19:51:00.000-07:00

If I didn't know I was doing it! LJ and I are going to a wedding leaving tomorrow to BFE Nor Cal. I in general am not good on road trips because I get carsick and I fall asleep. 10 hours in a car with LJ and his brother should be interesting.
Anyway I forgot with said wedding trip that we would be in the water for the first 2 days on a boat working on our tans (or sun burns). So I did what any respectable girl would do and scheduled a wax appointment. I haven't been able to find anyone near home so I have to go near my office. My office being 20 miles from home and my appointment being an hour after I get off from work. With that said I was freaking out that I didn't have time to go home and take a shower like I normally would. Then I get this bright idea to take a shower at the gym.
One of the main perks of going to my gym is that they provide everything including towels. So I go to the gym passing a fire truck and an ambulance in front of the building, walk into the locker room drop off my stuff at my locker, walk over to get my towel which is next to the bathrooms. I see a bunch of people in the bathroom area of the locker room but it doesn't click in my head that there is anything going on. I walk back to my locker get undressed walk back through said bathroom area to get to the showers I see a couple of people glance over and I keep walking. Right when I am about to close my shower curtain a girl rushes up to me and says " you do realize there are a bunch of paramedics in the ladies locker room right?" D'oh! Those were the eyes that looked up at me! Hello firefighters!
Apparently there was a lady with a heart attack or something. They are lucky they didn't get a second case.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Ketchup #... Fuck it!

2008-05-19T21:04:00.000-07:00

I spent a lot of money on clothes... now I have some returns.
Work is actually not completely stressing me out.
BTW b/c I failed to mention my birthday was 2 weeks ago and my anniversary was a week ago. Or was it 3 and 2.
I have a lot of books to read including See Jane Write. Any other chick lit lovers around these parts?
I hate the heat, spent most of it in air conditioning. What sucks is that when I went to the office today the air-conditioning wasn't working.
Anyone else watching The Bachelorette?
Mentally still coming and going.
I learned how to crotchet. Not well but at least I am trying. Does that make me an old lady? Note to self don't attempt to crotchet with booze in the belly.
Summer! Already have a couple of trips planned not very far, but at least meaningful. *Read: More time to get in good with his family.*
I just got a book of New York Times Crosswords. I actually suck at these but I figured it would help me expand my knowledge/vocabulary. Anyone else into them?
How's everyone else doing?

My therapist isn't on vacation....

2008-05-04T20:59:00.000-07:00

but I am totally feeling mental today. I see her tomorrow but I am deep into my emotions today. I don't know if its all the booze I've consumed for the last couple of days or if its the fact that Aunt FLO is due to visit, I am just not feeling right.

There's a lot of things that have been floating around lately that I haven't talked about. One of them being my mental health is running amok again and I don't want to deal with it. I take that back. I don't want to be medicated. I know that it would be the best thing for me and it would solve a lot of my other issues that I have going on, its still just scary you know?

I keep asking why can't we fast forward life for a couple of months to just to through the rough spots. I know why. Because thats how we miss the good that would have came with the rough and worse thats how you just fast forward to another rough patch - we can never tell what's really gonna happen.

One of the few things I have going for me is that at least I know I am loved. I am grateful for that.

Yes, I am just that cute.

2008-04-25T13:11:00.001-07:00

LJ and I were having a discussion about what I want to do for a living. I told him jokingly that I want to be a stewardess (PC I know). He said it would be rough. Why? B/c all sorts of guys would be hitting on me. I went on to say, how do you know that doesn't already happen? It does!

It used to happen more often than it does now, but then again I am a little older and I have just learned to ignore creepy men now.

So today I went to Costco for lunch and I was standing in the registration line for my renewal/card. So the guy behind me starts chatting me up trying to impress me with "I just left the studio" and we are talking about parties (he's there to stock up for a party) and booze (which is my main reason for going there 98% of the time) and I could totally feel it. I have no interest whatsoever, but it still feels nice you know?

So there! You see I get hit on all the time.

It's Not a Quarter Life Crisis...

2008-04-25T10:19:00.001-07:00

I think it's more of a quarter - life turn. A lot of things have been buzzing around my head lately with my upcoming birthday. I will be the big 2-5 on Wednesday. I've been having my own internal pressures of "what am I doing in my life?" along with LJ and my mom.

So here the deal... a lot of things have to change for me to be ultimately happy. Work wise, I think it's getting stagnant. Better, I am getting stagnant. A lot of people who do my job actually stay here forever. That's not for me. I think I want to stay doing the same thing I do just not in the same industry. There are certain aspects of my job that I truly enjoy like the personal interactions, the numbers and even a little bit of the stress. I am not happy unless I am really busy. At the same time I question the fact if that is a true statement or if it's just something I have lead myself to believe b/c of the way I live my life. I have accepted the fact that I am always busy not necessarily that I always like being so busy.

The other thing that has been looming over my head is this whole college thing. Anyone who doesn't know my family directly doesn't know that: a) I am one of 2 people on both sides of the family that speak English (the other being my brother), b) I am the only one that actually finished high school (in the states or abroad), or c) I am the only one who has even attempted college. Not to say that I am a total slacker and that I went one semester and dropped. I think I am on that 10 year now changing into a 12 year program. I started when I was 16 and have been going part time ever since. On and off. I have been off for almost 2 years now. You don't even realize that you get off track for so long. Life gets in the way with having to support yourself sometimes your education gets put on the backburner. So for the summer I am not going to school ( I did that and hated every second of it) but I am going to take a fun class like dance or calligraphy just to get the mental juices flowing and being back on a set schedule. In the fall I will take one "real" class just to get me warmed up for whatever I decide to do for the spring.

Ideally, there would be a way for me to have a job that would work around my school schedule that didn't pay minimum wage. I think that's the hardest thing to come to terms with. Most people go back to school b/c they need a better education to get more money. I've cut my expenses so low that I could probably live off of a student salary. Do I want to? No. I already make decent money doing what I do. Getting a degree would make no difference.

There are good things coming within the next couple of months that are fun and exciting, but I have a habit of posting the things that are making my head first vs. the things that give me butterflies. Next post. I promise.

So happy Birthday to me on Wednesday. 25 here I come!

But He's A Mac Guy!

2008-04-22T16:43:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't read me too long might not be aware that I am a Mac Girl. No not the cosmetics, too thick for my skin. Anyway, after having a long weekend of partying (another post) Saturday night I came back to my house with a party going on at 1 am.

My roommate KC was there with a bunch of her friends all of them still drunk from the days activities. Considering I hadn't drank I didn't find most of their antics funny. I figured if I tried to go to bed I would be unsuccessful at actually getting any sleep. Her friends were nice enough and KC kept on talking about some "really hot guy" that was supposed to be coming. said Hot Guy came and I was surprised he was actually hot. Sometimes KC's judgement is clouded by the booze. So HG and some of the other dudes started talking about UFC *and the burning question of who actually won the fights b/c none of them watched it" and I went to go pull my computer. Turns out HG is a Mac Guy. So HG came over and started looking at my computer thinking he has the same one... *No, honey. You don't.* and bowed to the greatness of my computer. KC went into her room wating for HG.

So fast-foward half an hour later we are still talking about all things Mac when my roommate comes back into the living room and Drags him away from me.That was the end of that. The following morning I talk to KC turns out she slept with him but wasn't that into him. Damn! I don't care if you are into him, I just want you to see him again so I can exchanger Mac ID's with him! Seriously KC will you sleep with him again so I can get his contact info?

*On a side note shouldn't you know the last name of the guy you sleep with unless you want to end up like a sad country song?*

I'm not Jerry McGuire, I hope

2008-04-15T12:16:00.000-07:00

I don't even know if I spelled the name right. I have been under a lot of stress lately with things that affect me directly. I am worried that I am gonna stay up one night and write a long book of gibberish and distribute it and walk out with the goldfish. Just sayin'.

I will be back when I can write a coherent sentance or a least pretty bullshit.

*Cheers!*

No Foolin'

2008-04-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

I am in the office right now and I am hoping my work flow stays to the level its at now for the rest of the day. By 7:10 tonight I will be on the plane for Sin City. Just going for 2 days while the bf works I will be ordering room service. Hard life right?

Hope everyone has a great april fools!

Callucci I have failed you

2008-03-20T14:34:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid I took karate*side chop* classes for 3 years. My parents instead of putting me in nice girly activities like say brownies or girl scout they put me in with a bunch of boys, including my brother. I wish I had pictures to show you guys.

My brother and I are 3 years apart, he being 3 years older than I, but as kids we were the same size. Especially in the 8-11 arena. We had knick-names in class mine was "watermelon head" his was "blind bat" *Hi Bro!*. Anyway we werent really that good but I made it as far as yellow belt and I think he made it to green.

The only reason this memory was brought up is because last night I took a cardio-kickboxing class last night with my friend V. She was all pumped up about it and she works out like 3-4 times a week (even though she has been slacking off with me lately, I have that effect on people) so she was stoked to see me go. Anywho... seriously... someone help me hear.... you know the dorky kid that is in aerobics class that you know that doesnt belong there? That was me. I sucked. They were going left.... I was going right.... they were kicking.... I was punching. It was so bad that one of the older ladies stopped and asked me if it was my first time and I'm thinking "Is it that apparrent?"

So Calluci (my karate teacher) sorry. I just suck at this. I am going back to yoga were even though I may be sweaty and gross at least i know the moves. Sorry to my high school step aerobics teacher too. Better luck next lifetime.

I am getting the last laugh!

2008-03-20T13:44:00.000-07:00

So 2 major things have come to surface this week. One I can't discuss in too much detail but the person(s) involved dicked me around too much on so many levels and deserves whats coming to them. Cheers Bitches! *Can you smell the animosity?*

The second one slighlty more detail. So you know sometimes there are people you should not become involved with yet somehow you talk yourself into thinking its a good idea? I had one of those. I can't even call him a bf. Things didn't end as I would have wanted but what can you do? I still have contact with this person just because of the nature of what I have going on in life and even if I don't have to speak to this person directly we still have a lot of people in common. Anyway I found out they were seeing someone new and they asked me if x or y had told me. I didnt know anything about it until it came out of their mouth. This was all confirmed by photos floating around and the only thing I could think in my head "Geez, you got older and fat since the last time I saw you. And that girl with you isn't that cute and to top it off she's old! Glad I didn't keep wasting my 20 something's time." *Barf*

Anyway seeing what turned out just put me in such a good mood. In both cases.

Let Debbie-Downer Die!

2008-03-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

I was just reading my last posts and wow I sound depressed. So things may not be super awesome right now but lets share some of the good things right now shall we?

I am finally done moving. I still have stuff to unpack but it's nice to have gotten rid of so much stuff that I was just carrying around with me.
I found my new crack: McDonalds Iced Coffee. Turns out McD's is competing with Starbucks now and they have a better quality bean.
Reading: Eat Pray Love.
Will get out of work early on St. Patty's. Even though you can't really do much on a Monday night.
Got paid today!
My desk at work will be clean by the end of the day so I will have an easy Monday!
LJ and I are having our first "Lazy Saturday" in months b/c we both work so much.
When I come home tonight my house will be clean and my laundry will be done.
My new roommate will be gone next weekend for Easter so I will have the house to myelf.
Last but not least.... I am going to kick myself to start going to the gym more. Seriously... I have an NBA team that plays in the courts right in front of ellipticals. *Drool*

Decisions

2008-03-10T19:00:00.000-07:00

Seem's like only yesterday LJ and I started dating. We are less than 60 days away from our year anniversary. Whowouldathunkit? I know most of you guys have been with your guys forever so a year doesn't seem like that long but you know to everyone its different.

A not very known fact around here is that I have been engaged twice. The first time was a giant mistake and it was just a band-aid to cover up a huge problem. I was young and dumb. The second go 'round seem like the right thing to do but I knew in my hearts of hearts that he wasn't the one for me.

LJ and I have been talking about long-term plans for a while now. Last night he told me something that was totally unexpected.

"If I was basing this decision only on emotions you and I would be married already."

Yay! In the same discussion he also brought up something that he knows will affect me greatly. LJ is an entrepreneur. I am a 9-5 girl that likes very little things to change and I love stability. LJ is very seat of his pants in everything he does while I am methodical borderlining OCD. I like to have control of everything. Funny thing is had you asked me 4 years ago I was a totally different person. His concern is he knows me very well and he knows that I have worked very hard to get to where I am at and he wants to make sure that I can handle emotionally the ups and downs that come with his business. Odd question? Not really. He knows I get anxiety relatively easy and he knows on the downtimes of his business he will already be kicking himself and he just wants to know that I wont be kicking him while he is down *i.e.: telling him to get a 9-5*.

Seriously, what the hell can I say to that? I love him, I will support him 10, 20 or 50 years down the road. Besides, its not like I don't bring enough home to support both of us and then some. Or does he expect me to say now that I don't think I can handle what MAY happen in 10 years and miss out on a great relationship based on something that MAY happen? One of the reasons I love him is the fact that he is ambitious. Hell he just got a business off the ground this year, we don't know the full results yet but still it take a lot to get it going.

Thoughts anyone?

Dumpster Diving?

2008-03-10T18:02:00.000-07:00

So I know I have been a bad blogger. Even if it seems I am not around. I am here all the time. Normally just trying to catch up on my reader. I haven't even been a good commenter. Apologies to all.

Anyway on to the original subject. So from my last post most of you should have seen I have moved. The move was semi-planned but not really. I've known I was going to move for the last 2 months, I just didnt do much about it. I did throw away a lot of things and some things I couldn't get rid of till the last minute from guilt.

When my Ex and I broke up I had already moved into the aparment I just vacated. That move was even less planned b/c we only had six days to get the hell out of there. That's another story for another day. Anyway a lot of things got moved into my garage that I never looked at that were his. I knew they were down there. In the few months of friendship that we had after the break up I urged him to pick it all up. Even till recently I would send him text messages and I even called his dad to let him know that I have his stuff in my garage. My Ex was very passive-aggressive to say the least. So why am I making such a big deal about his stuff? Why didn't I just throw it out? Why didn't I Ebay it? B/c I have a heart. I was bugging him to come pick up all his family albums and pictures of when his son was born. *Yeah, who knew I was a psuedo-stepmom for 2 1/2 years*. I just couldn't imagine what I would feel if someone threw out something so important. He had 12 months to come and get it, yet he never did. So all this stuff that ended up being at least 3 boxes that actually moved ended up in my new garage.

I just coudn't take it anymore. We still have a lot of unresolved financial issues that I am still paying for that I can't even take advantage of that I am still angry about because he has now completely dissapeared. So all his stuff got thrown in the trash. Sadly, instead of feeling better it I actually feel worse. I don't really think it has to do with him but more with his son. His son and I were very close b/c the mom for a long time was very away and unstable. Then she went on to have another child and he was more or less ignored. He will never get to see all those pictures.

Congratulations asshat you just took some more of your kids dysfunctional childhood. If you would like to see your pics again go to the local dumpster they will be there. Fucker. I'll see you in court.

Moving Day

2008-03-06T13:17:00.000-08:00

So today is day 1 of my big move. I know I should be excited about this move but in fact I am hating it. I am waiting for my dad to come over and I haven't done much of anything.

I should be exciting about having 2 days off., yet I'm not.

Moving sucks. My mood sucks.

Ketchup 3 - February Edition

2008-02-20T13:17:00.000-08:00

I am here. I have just been slammed with work. So here are tidbits of whats been going on for the last couple of weeks. I am still trying to catch up with my reader.

Valentine's Day didnt suck this year. Had some amazing food and thoughtful gifts. That didn't get paid out of my checking account.
Have tickets to see Blake Shelton tonight and no one to go with. And I actually paid for these tickets!
Painted my new room at my new house.
Got new shiny furniture for my new room.
Falling in love with a hobbie again.
Excited about this move thing.
Panic Attacks down.
Things still in the shitter with the fam. Trying to help them though.
Paying for a gym membership that I haven't been going to.
Things are going surprisingly well with LJ and I.
LJ's grandma and aunt sent me V-day presents! How cute is that!
I am sending back the thank you cards today within a reasonable amount of time.

I swear I will craft a real post soon. Anyone want to add a line of their own?

May the Spirit be with me

2008-02-06T16:31:00.000-08:00

For anyone who's not Roman Catholic today is Ash Wednesday. For Lent we are supposed to give up something we like. Okay, so I am not a really great Catholic but at least I am trying. Anyway, I finally figured out what I am giving up. All sugary drinks. I don't drink Coke or Diet Coke or any other type of dark soda but if there is a Fanta or a Crush around I am all over it. Since I don't drink a lot of soda in general you would think this wouldnt be much of an issue. Except I love lemonade. I could have lemonade all day. So day one 1 and I went to whole food and and bought Metro Mint Lemon Water and gah... not good. I think its also b/c I am not much of a mint lover. I am trying to find new alternatives on what to drink that doesnt have sugar and I won't drink anything with fake sugar thanks to this book.

Any ideas on what I should be drinking? Oh, I am already stocking up on Republic of Tea drinks. Yum!

P.S. I swear I have some real posts coming up. Like the music swap... I didnt forget about you Sparkel.

Bathroom Revelations

2008-02-01T10:08:00.000-08:00

Dear whoever uses the big stall before me.

Dude, double check to make sure there are no left-overs. It's okay to double flush. That's nasty!

love,

the girl who wants a clean throne.

Dear Girls Talking in the bathroom,

Thanks for stoping your conversation when I walked in. Hopefully it wasn't about me.

Love,
your co-worker

Dear People who walk in when there is someone in one of the stalls,

You never know who is in the stalls or if they are the person that is about to get fired that doesn't know it yet.

Love,
Fortunately not that person

Meet The Parents, Part Dos

2008-01-25T08:54:00.000-08:00

I have a habit of calling everyone and their mom when I am driving home from work during the week. Mostly b/c this is the only time I have to sit and not be disturbed by anything else. That and if I sit still too long without any kind of movement I get real sleepy. Especially when it's warm. Does that happen to anyone else?

Since I call everyone and their mom... I called LJ's mom. Turns out I had not lost the the scarf she gave me for X-Mas but I had left it at her house. So we were catching up and she was telling me that her son never calls her just to chat. Of course not. LJ hates to talk on the phone. Hell I am the only person he really even talks to on the phone. I have my own special ringtone on his crackberry *whole 'nother post*,

I think I pointed it out in my last post about meeting the parents that LJ hadn't met my parents and that LJ's mom knew said fact. So when I was talking to her last Friday she asked me if we had finally done that. Fortunately this was a phone conversation vs. say a video conferance or worse an in person. I'm sure she would have liked to have seen the deer in the headlights look that crossed my face at that moment. So I came up with the best thing I could say "As a matter of fact my mom and I were discussing what should be made for dinner when LJ and I come over this weekend."

Not exactly a lie but my mom was kind of like, "do we really have to do it this weekend?" I won't bore you with all the details but here goes: The dinner started later than expected & we stayed there till almost 1 in the morning. My dad and my bf were doing tequila shots and I had a margarita (or 2?) My bf and parents found common ground in making fun of me. Or my lack of domestication. My bf went as far as asking my mom why she never taught me how to cook. My mom fired back " what are you talking about? I still try to teach her how to cook! she just doesn't listen!" Yes LJ that is the life you are looking forward to - undomesticated bliss.

The nice thing (well at least for me) is that since they don't speak the same language so at least I can translate selectively. All in all I think it was a good meet and greet.

Long Day

2008-01-24T19:51:00.000-08:00

My stress levels have been up for the last 24-48 hours and I haven't been dealing too well. It started with a clusterfuck of a mess at work that was partially my fault. The other belonging to another party, but finally we ended up throwing someone else under the bus. Which I feel really horrible about because it's not in my nature to do that in my personal life so why do it in my professional? It was just a matter of logistics and the party that did get thrown down their kind of deserved it and with everything involved we would be on the losing end of it. Anyway not trying to justify it. It happened. I feel like hell about. The fortunate part of it is that it ended up clearing up today *even though it's not even necessary now* but at least now we wont be under a time crunch. Oh and I got chewed out by one of my superiors in front of 3 peers. Fun. This was the biggest fuck up I have ever had in this job.

On top of that with my stress levels up it ups all my other emotions. LJ was trying to be supportive and I just snapped at him. On top of that I just hung up on him. I felt bad. It wasn't his fault I just let everything get to me. He normally stays at his place and works late but seeing how upset I was he came right over even after I begged him to stay home and that I would be fine. I guess thats what a guy does when he really cares about you. I've been meaning to go see the psychiatrist. Hell I even called last week to make an appointment. They gave me paperwork to fill out before I even show up. I am just using it now as an excuse not to go. Procrastination. My first name. My middle name. My last name. Help.

I do have some fun stuff coming up on the horizon. If I could just get out of this funk and stop crying at sad country songs and happy country songs. Damn.

No More Brokeback Mountain?

2008-01-22T14:16:00.001-08:00

I just read that Heath Ledger is dead!OMG! Sucks! Just sharing the news.

WTF?

Catching up with the 21st Century

2008-01-20T21:00:00.000-08:00

For any of you that have a sitemeter tracker thing and I read your blogs that I visit ALL THE TIME. It's not that I am a stalker or anything - it's just that until today I didn't have an RSS reader. So yeah, your site stats are gonna go down. FYI.

Love,

not really a stalker.

P.S. Will post a real post later.

You actually noticed?

2008-01-16T15:56:00.001-08:00

Last night I felt icky from just having a long day and not having any sleep the previous night that I decide to take a shower. I normally shower in the morning to help wake me up and I don't like being cold at night. The only other times I shower in the evenings are when I visit the gym.

The thing about taking a shower at night is that I have no idea what my hair is going to look like in the morning. For work I normally put it in a slicked back ponytail and a little boufant or side swipe thing. It's not very exciting but it gets the job done. I guess I do this so much that people figure I must have questionable hair. The thing is I don't. I have great hair. I normally damn most of the genes that made me but I love the hair I have. Its thick (so thick that I have to have it sheared), it's bouncy and its shiney. My mom has fine curly hair and my dad has thick straw straight hair. So I ended up with big wavy hair. If I put in the effort most women put into their hair I would have pantene hair (super shiney pretty) everyday. I just don't care enough to make that effort on a weekday for work. By me a nice dinner and take me out for the evening and I will do it. ;)

So since I woke up kind of late this morning I decide against my usual slicked back 'do and decided to go for the free flowing hair. A little bit of Rusk Anti-Frizz and a little bit of Biosilk (yes I know its the devil but I like the smell) and I was good to go. Mind you I didn't style or even bother to brush my hair to go to work today. When I walk in the first thing my boss says "wow, your hair looks nice. very natural." This coming from a guy who won't notice a fly on his nose. Sometimes I can't take a compliment and all I said was " I didn't brush my hair this morning, but I did use product!"

So I am feeling pretty good about my hair today just b/c I remember I was watching Miss America-Reality Check ( brain fluff I know) and they made a comment about one of the contestants that didn't feel comfortable in her own skin after they made a comment to her about being so pretty with the natural curl in her hair and how they don't like the fact that she is representing this attitude in a beauty pagent.

So I love me and my natural hair. And my styled hair. And the genes that made my hair what it is today. Maybe one day I will post a picture of me with my hair down to my butt (from when I was a kid or from high school).

*Pantene Hair Swoosh*

As good as Britney's Mom

2008-01-14T15:50:00.000-08:00

If you are a sane person you wouldn't ask Britney Spear's mom for teenage parenting advice right? So then why would you ask the person with the worst track record for relationships - relationship advice? It's worse than the blind leading the blind. It's the blindman telling the blind woman that he can see. It's not the blind woman's fault that she got lied to. Yet they both fall off the cliff together.

Speaking of Britney I heard that she was looking at house's over by where I work. No thank you. Stay on your side of LA. We don't need anyone else out here that is a shitty driver with a car that is worth more than what your mom made in 5 years before she started pimping you out running over our pedestrians and causing traffic jams to watch train wrecks.

Seriously. Go away, don't look back. We don't want you here.

What's in the bag?

2008-01-13T20:04:00.000-08:00

I got this bag a couple of weeks ago at Forever 21. It's not a place I would normally shop but the accessories are kind of cool. I like this bag b/c it has studs all over it which makes it a little more edgy than my regular Coach bag.

Starting from top left:

Coach business card holder: b/c you never know when you are going to do business.

My Keys: Including the tag to the gym and a little flashlight.

Coupon holder: I have a habit of just dropping paper into my bag, I figured this would help with that instead. Part of my new years organiztion.

Wallet: I bought this Wallet at Forever 21 as well to go with the purse. The cool thing about it is that it has a wrist strap to go with it.

Pink Case: Nope it's not for a retainer. It's actually a mouthguard. I drive so much just in my regular commute that my Dentist recommended that I actually wear it when I drive so I don't grind my teeth as much. At least its not huge. It only goes up halfway up my teeth and its custom-made.

My Life - My Phone: This is Pocket PC 6700. Its actually a huge phone but I am such a text message junkie that I need something with a full keyboard and a touch-screen.

Notebook: Also part of my NY Resolution, so I can remember stuff I keep forgetting. Also thinking of doing Stephanie's Idea. Hence the heart stickers on the inside. I like stars but I also love hearts.

Ipod: Project Red. I got it for free as part of my purchase of my Mac. I had a 30 GB on top of this one but it kicked the bucket a couple of months ago.

Sudoku: my addiction. I always carry a book with me. I particularly like this one b/c it has a hard cover and a spiral on the inside. I could get the digital version of it on my phone but its not the same. Yes, I do it in Pen.

Lancome Lip Gloss in Heatstroke: It just looks pretty on my lips it goes with any lip color really.

So there you have it, what I drag around in my purse everyday.

They like me! They really really like me!

2008-01-13T19:09:00.001-08:00

Before we went to see LJ's family in Idaho for Christmas he knew I was super nervous. Honestly, I have had really bad experiences meeting the parents of significant others. I know most of the reasons behind their not liking me are not my fault (the fact that I am not white, that I came from a working class family that I dug my self up from, the fact that I am not mature enough to handle children that aren't my own), but they still bother me.

So when it was even mentioned that he wanted me to meet the family instead of being excited I got really anxious. Anxious to the point that I didn't even know if I wanted to meet them. I think b/c LJ sprung the Christmas trip on me out of nowhere probably helped a lot in the sense that I wouldn't get all worked up before going up there. The trip turned out awesome.

Anyway, I wondered if his family really liked me or if they were just being nice since I was there with their "Golden Boy". Then this week we received a card from his grandma. The card was actually addressed only to me which LJ thought was a little strange. His grandma was talking about how LJ and I met and was hoping for luck for her son. Along with the letter she sent a religious Catholic Metal and a prayer card. Did I mention his family is super-Catholic and the first thing that came out of his grandma's mouth when she heard that I was too is "Wonderful!"

If they didn't like me they wouldn't send letters after the fact right? Or is it the fact that I sent filet mignon and lobster tails to both parents and grandparents for christmas have anything to do with it?

Silver-Lined Living

2008-01-12T15:36:00.000-08:00

I have known for a while that I would be moving from my current casa. I love my place but at the same time it is lacking a lot of things that I am looking for. I found a new place accidentally with a new friend K. I met K at my nail place that I've been going to forever. We are near the same age, work for competing companies & have the same style. We exchanged phone numbers to hang out on a future occasion. We ended up hanging out a week ago and we were talking about our living situations and she has an extra room for rent.

When I originally started looking for a place I didn't consider even having a roommate. I have gotten used to living by myself. You know the being able to run around nekkid, my own food in the fridge and no one else making a mess. But what do you do when the perfect place comes and smacks you in the face? This place has everything I have been looking for and then some. I even made a comment a week before to LJ saying "wouldn't it be nice if I could find a place with a fireplace?" I now have one in my room.

So it wasn't what I was originally looking b/c of the roommate but I am trying to look at the brighter side of things. I will be paying half of what I pay in rent now, I will be living in a way better less crowded neighborhood, I have real parking that I don't have to pay extra for, its closer to the freeway, and did I mention that I will be paying half of what I am paying now?

Also as part of my new years "resolution" the whole chick friends thing this might be a good thing. She is a single girl with more girl friends than I do. She in general is more social than I am. She has even mentioned throwing parties and other shennanigans. She went to Vegas this weekend on a whim. So I think she will be a good addition to my current friends.

Lets hope this all works out and I am not looking for a new place less than 6 months from now.

knock on the screen Anyone out there?

2008-01-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

So turns out it's National Delurking Week, A little late but let's give this a go. Most if anybody is out there is b/c I have been making an effort to stop lurking so much. I always wondered if anyone comes back and reads my blog. So this week is your week. Show the love everyone! *Please, pretty please, with a big cherry on top*

So you have something to say here are a couple of questions from me to you:

Your Name/URL
Your shoe size (to see if we shoe mates), who makes your favorite shoes.
Where you are from.

*Cheers!*

New Year 2008

2008-01-03T14:15:00.000-08:00

First week of the new year has given me a little bit of time to digest what will be happening . I am not setting new years resolutions because I know I won't stick to them. I just need to live my life in the way I know will be in my best interest. So here are some things I will be focused on.

Apartment: I have decided to leave my current apartment. Don't get me wrong its great and has a lot of what I am looking for but it's still missing a lot of things that I really want. That and it is way over market. Since I have time till my lease is up I am taking my time to look at things. I already found a perfect place only problem is it belongs to another girl who wants a roommate. What to do? What to do? Do I want a roommate again? With such a perfect apartment landing in my lap?
Health: So the 14 lbs. I lost I gained back and lost again. And a little bit more! Yay! I am paying out the wazoo right now for the gym so I intend on using it. Along with that I am still seeing my therapist who will be referring me to the psychiatrist for meds. At least I know I need help. Between the 2 things I am working on I think I will be happier in a few months. Depression and anxiety aren't fun.
Work/School: So this 10 year program is not cutting it. I have been in school to long and doing one class at a time sucks. With me moving and paying off my car it leaves me a with a lot less expenses which will ease up my stress of having to work so much. Depending on what work does I may just go back to school full time. Then again it could totally upswing and I could be making a lot of money again and school gets put back for another year. Why can't I be one of those super people who can work full time and go to school full time? Well I could but I would want to kill myself and not have any kind of social life. I don't have a real need for the piece of paper b/c I am pretty well skilled in my business, I have a ton of experience and I make more money than a lot of new people with degrees. But I know if I ever want to move on up that I need to finish school unless I want to end up on a dead end.
Relationship: So I think I should give the BF a name instead of just the BF. He is LJ. LJ and I are trucking along in relationship bliss. I can't really forsee what is going on in our future. We talk about the future a lot but sometimes I think it's just me talking out of my butt. When it comes to relationships I am far more experienced than he is even though he is almost 4 years older than I am. I am so used to being on a real fucked up relationship super highway that being in a normal speed flowering non-drama relationship is still a little odd to me. I think I need to stop putting pressure on myself (and I am sure on LJ too unconciously) about where this relationship should be. It's not a race. Most of my friends have already been around the track once. It's okay for me to just be tying up my shoelaces and seeing everyone go by and sprint when I am only ready for the warm-up jog. If you don't do the warm up jog you end up on the side of the track with a pain in your side b/c you tried too hard or worse you completely fall out of the race. I don't want to fall out of the race with LJ.
Friends: I am making an honest effort to have more girlfriends. I came to realize that I lost a lot of friends when I was in my last relationship for a number of reasons. First my guy "friends" had ulterior motives and I knew it. Yet I still kept them as friends until they came to realize that I wasn't going anywhere with them. Then I lost a lof friends to having kids. Mind you I love kids but its kinda hard to balance a kid on your hip and drink out of a beer mug. Girlfriends are hard to come by when you live so far from where you are working and just meeting genuine people in LA/OC is hard. Let's hope I have better luck this year with that. I'd also like more blogging friends. Probably would help if I didnt lurk so much and actually commented on the blogs I read. I'm trying though.

Meet the Parents

2007-12-31T10:13:00.000-08:00

Even though I am not over every illness that I have contracted within the last week or so, I figured I should write this post while it was still not past the expiration date on the carton.

So last Saturday night/ Sunday morning at 1 am the bf and I head to bed. The following conversation ensues:

BF:I wonder how much tickets to the Idaho are?

Me: An arm and a leg.

BF: Go grab your laptop and lets check it out.

Me: You are on crack.

*checked*

Me: They are too expensive.

BF: I guess they are. But if we could go what days would you want to go?
Me: Leave Sunday come back late christmas day.

* I fall asleep*

3:30 AM:

BF: I got tickets!
ME: WTF?
BF: We have to be at LAX by 7:20 AM.
ME: WTF?

Because this trip was not planned and you know you don't need planning when you go from Sunny Southern California to just south of the Canadian border. The first thing was "OMG its Cold." I didnt know what to expect up there. BF hadn't told anyone in his family that we were coming up so when we got to his parents house his mom almost dropped the phone she was talking on, his grandma cried and his aunt tried to rile him up by saying "You know it means something when you bring a girl home to meet your family for the holidays."

The next couple of days were filled with lots of family lots of homemade food and lots of drinking. BF's mom was like "you know we normally don't drink every night of the week here, it just happens to be working out that way." BF's dad has his own classic rock band and the last night we were there they set up in the shop and rocked out for us. BF's mom and I agreed that BF's dad was like a little kid at a school recital running around shaking his hands saying "look at me mom! Look at me!"

Since no one knew BF was coming much less me, I could tell that we got some slapped together last minute gifts. It's cool though. I can't blame them, I did get something cool from his mom. She gave me a bar of lotion from Coldwater Creek. His grandma gave me silver earrings and both of them gave me scarves.

Just for the record... his mom made best prime rib... EVER! Also I was running fevers the whole time. I just got a fever blister last night. I also got the stomach flu last night. That was not fun. I've been lightheaded for a couple of days. All this stemmed from the trip.

Before we left his parents asked "So you guys will be up for 4th of July right?"

For the love of shoes!

2007-12-28T19:23:00.000-08:00

I love shoes... I'm surprised I haven't done more posts about my love of my feet dressings. Anyway, I just saw something horribe. A pair of my shoes... called horrible on What Not to Wear!

I have a real post to write too but I don't have the brain power currently. Will come back this weekend and do it.

Cheers!

Christmas? What Christmas?

2007-12-22T14:54:00.000-08:00

So I am not a big fan of Christmas. Haven't been for the last 6 or so years. Why? Did Santa not come one year? Did I gain 10 lbs. from one christmas? Was I the last one to the chocolate box and found that only the (nasty) fruit ones were left? Not so much.

The first year I moved out of my parents house everyone ditched me for Christmas and Thanksgiving. Everyone meaning all of my friends, my family and my then boyfriend. Since then I am normally a grouch about the whole holiday season. Last year was the first year I spent thanksgiving with the family and I think it was still pretty disasterous in the sense of uncomfortable silences and people leaving early because they just couldnt take looking at each others faces anymore.

This year with the family stuff going on my dad is out of town, my brother is not around and well my mom... I will at least be spending part of it with her but even I am not sure how that is going to turn out. The rest of the time will be spent with the boyfriend.

Very few people got christmas gifts from me this year. I have been spending way too much money in general. I got an awesome gift for the bf and I got something for my client. I am still working on my parents and something for one of the girls from work (also now a good friend). I am dreading the whole shopping thing still. The malls are zoos here. Fuck. I don't want to go.

Can we really just pretend Christmas never happened? And never will again?

Final Prayers

2007-12-19T10:48:00.000-08:00

So as much as I am trying to be upbeat today, today really sucks. Found out last night that my grandma is on her deathbed. My dad flew down this morning and will be there through Christmas. The prognosis isn't good. They already went to go find the priest to say the final prayers and at this point there is nothing we can really do. I don't even have a passport to fly down there. When my granddad passes I will fly down. The guy I work for asked me how I was doing and I said in a really flat voice that my grandma is dying. I don't even think he heard me.

Oh well, shit happens. *Where's my drink?*

Good in the World

2007-12-19T10:45:00.000-08:00

It's nice to see real life people getting good stuff happening to them, for example - Stephanie. OR at least overhearing about it at Dawn's. *crooked smile* Hope everyone has something awesome happen to them today.

Medicated

2007-12-18T11:12:00.000-08:00

So I am not sure if it is b/c the stresses I have had lately on the daily bases or of its just an ongoing thing that I have been avoiding dealing with because well, I can. Yesterday I read this post on Dooce and it got me thinking.

I've been previously medicated on at least one of the following medication: xanex, celexa, lexapro, klonopin for long periods of time. When I fell off of them it was not by choice. I just couldn't afford them anymore when I quit my job, lost my insurance, broke up with my boyfriend and was unemployed while renting an apartment that I couldn't afford by myself.

I originally ended up in therapy and on meds b/c I had anxiety about driving. I refused to drive for 3 months. In July 2002 I got in a pretty bad car accident and ended up in the hospital for a week. They ended up feeding me steroids b/c they couldn't figure out if I had gotten seizures or if I was having PTSD. They had all the psych interns come and check on me everyday. They did the steroids as a preventative measure. Preventative measure ended up costing me 100 lbs. in 10 months. When I told my doctor "I am gaining 10 lbs in a month, what should I do?" her response was "Quit eating so much Carl's Jr." I've lost some of the weight since but I am nowhere near what I once was. The first year I could blame the weight gain and that I was trying to get it off. 5 1/2 years later it should be gone. I am just fat now.

Anyway, since that whole thing blew through and I got back on the horse I have been doing pretty okay. I haven't had any major catastrophes that have thrown me into a tailspin. Okay maybe I have but I haven't let myself hit rock bottom again. That's why I am seeing my therapist, b/c I could feel it coming on. If I had been medicated for the last say 2-3 years would I be doing a lot better? In some ways I am ashamed at the fact that I know I need meds yet I haven't gotten help again. I know what it feels like not to be walking on egg shells. Not let some little thing that you know is not that big of a deal be so overwhelming that you end up not doing it because of all the ridiculous anxiety you have built up around it beyond the usually anxiety you get with something new. I want that again. I have spoken about it to my therapist about going to the psychiatrist to get meds. She says its my choice she is not going to make me. I think I am finally gonna do it. I think I will feel better about the whole thing. Or at least I hope.

Another one bites the dust

2007-12-18T10:59:00.000-08:00

One of the girls in my office just got engaged. Yay for her! I am happy that everyone is trying to get to their happily ever after but at the same time its like "great, another person that I will hardly see and will have baby on the brain next".

I know I shouldn't sound so negative and I am truly happy for her, it's just strange. I have been off-kilter in my mood lately.

Dillusional

2007-12-18T10:29:00.000-08:00

So I've been away for a few days from writing and I actually wrote down my ideas so I don't forget. During Thanksgiving (another post I didn't get around to writing) the BF's friend BV had this girl he met on myspace come out. LV. Nice girl. A little young. Young being my age. He will be 30 in March besides the point. I guess they have been in a cyber relationship for a couple of months so it's cool that she came out.

LV came back out this last week and more information got spilled. Turns out that she is leaving the middle of nowhere town to come out here to Southern California. She wants to move right in with him. His friends talked him out of it. She will be renting a one-bedroom apartment which is way higher than market (and really out of her price range) for the area b/c he picked it for her so she could be conveniently located to him. She has friends out here that live about 10 miles from where he lives. Wouldn't it make more sense to live closer to your friends than the guy that you just met especially when you rent is so high? Along with that she has a good job out where she is from but since licensing laws are different out here she has to take a crap job that only pays $38K a year until she can get that straightened out. Southern California living isn't cheap people. I mean we are no New York but still you pay for every sunny day. So I am just doing the math for her and she is gonna end up screwed. She will be living with him within 6 months.

I being a numbers person focus on the money first. Let's move on. So when I saw her over the weekend we had a chance to chat and a couple of red flags went up. She calls BV her best friend. Seriously? Who does that? While making puppy eyes? Secondly, since they have been "dating", they have text message fights. High school anyone? Thirdly and most importantly the BF went over to BV's for football on Sunday and guess what she was doing? READING A WEDDING MAGAZINE? WTF?

I guess you would have to understand BV to see why this is all so crazy. She is a really sweet girl and I would hate to see her get hurt. The guys think she has an ulterior motive. I just think she is naive and doesn't know what she is getting herself into. In the meantime since I like the girl and unfortuntely I can't tell her about what kind of financial clusterfuck she is getting herself into and her relationship is not anything I am gonna meddle in either I tolder LV that is she needs help shopping and settling in to let me know and I would be happy to show her around.]

Lets hope it all works out for everyone to live happily ever after.

Hoity-Toity

2007-12-13T10:01:00.000-08:00

"There comes a day that you won't put up with cheap wine, cheap furniture
or a cheap gym, has that day come?"
This is what the front of the folder says to the gym I just joined. By doing this I am facing 2 things in my life that I normally shy away from: a) the fact that I am over-weight and b) that feeling I get that I am not good enough to go to the hoity-toity gym.
So why am I putting myself in a place like this? What I learned from Dawn is that you can't run with the turkeys if you want to fly with the eagles. In my business status is everything. Also, said gym is where a lot of people hang out in the business. Not that I really want to meet work people while I am sweating up a storm or gasping for air (depending on the work-out). I still have a little bit of anxiety from coming from a place where I could barely afford to go to a gym to now going to the nicest gym in the area code. I wonder.. can people spot someone who was/is poorer than the rest of them? Like a poordar?
When I went to tour the gym everyone in their seem to be like a size 2. On a fat day. Fortunately this gym has a women's area. Which I think is a good idea but at the same time women are a lot snarkier than men when it comes to appearances. I am the gym people so I can quit being so fat so back off people.
I think the worse part of this whole thing is that I am being so judgemental about myself. I just need to get over it. Wish me luck.

P.S. I am still down the 14 lbs I lost within the last 2 months.

Tear drops on my phone

2007-12-12T13:30:00.000-08:00

I wish my teardrops were for something easy like a high school boy crush like for Taylor Swift. Unfortunately, I am an adult *barely, kicking and screaming* and mine have to do with my family. My family has put up a pretty good facade for the last 30 something years and it seems within the last 2-3 its ready to crack and crumble.

My mom and I had a long talk last week *I couldn't even talk about it till now* rehashing some of the past issues deeply connected to me. I found out information that had I been told at the time it was going on it would have made me feel better about the whole situation. To the point where I wouldn't have placed so much blame on everyone involved. There are issues that I know time can't heal. My mom says that I need to get over them so I can move on and not carry so much anger with me. I wish it was that easy. I started seeing a therapist a little over year ago that was spawned from current events in my life. Since my current life is pretty well situated (well as much as it can be) now we have started working back. It's rough. I don't even want to talk about it. Yet I will. Only because I don't want to be angry forever. We both ended up crying over the phone. I am the only child she can talk to.

I wish my family was more open with their problems. They are afraid of what other people will think. If they only knew that they weren't the only one's out there dealing with these issues. That they could get help either from outside organizations or just from family friends. I have a feeling that in later years I will no longer be associated with them. I will lose my last name when I get married and never look back. I can be motivated by a lot of things but no matter what I am losing I think that I will still come out better for not keeping some of the things involved.

P.S. Never tell your kids that they weren't the best kids that they could get. Because a) you have to look at the gene pool they came from and b) b/c they are still more successful than you are by a longshot. Well at least I am. I can't speak for the rest.

smile

2007-12-12T13:20:00.000-08:00

I don't get to see a lot of my friends in person so I talked to a lot of them in the IM. My friend AS is rarely ever on and when he is on it is because he is at work. You can tell how hard he works for his money right? Anyway, turns out he is getting married. Yay! I am honestly very happy for him I am glad he found someone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. The funny thing about IM because you don't have to look anyone in the eye or hear inflections in someone voice (or cracks for that matter) people get a little braver in what they say.

So after telling me that he is getting married he confessed his long time crush for me ever since french toast. *smile* AS and I have been friends for so long that I didn't figure that he really liked me. Especially after calling me his "bratty little sister" for so long. I asked him why he never said anything about it especially b/c at one point I had one on him. He said b/c I intimidated him. Me? Intimidate? he said b/c I have always been very driven it was something that he knew he couldnt keep up with.

Being called driven is one the nicest things that someone can say to me. Just b/c yes I do bust my arse off all day to bring home the proverbial bacon. So when someone can recognize that about me especially when they understand it is outside of my professional life it just means that much more. So then he turned it around me why I never told him. Because I never thought he took me seriously. Come on call me your "bratty little sister" that doesn't sound too sexy to me. Then he went on about how he took me too seriously thats why he could never get the courage to make a move.

Technically he did make a move at one point when for a short time span we were both single. I just didnt follow up on it. I thought it was him just being nice. I am just oblivious sometimes. What can I say?

He said I am going to become a song one day *AS is a musician*. I asked him if it was about the crazy times we had... he said no, I am that girl that he wonders what could have been.

Why she feeds me

2007-12-07T15:55:00.000-08:00

Last night after having a long day of running around starting with a 7:30 am Chiro appoint and ending me not getting home till 11 pm I was exhausted. My neighborr D is always the friendly face that greets me whenever I am getting my mail. Over time we have become pretty good friends. We have both had some hardships and have helped each other out. Last night i told her I was starving and she gave me spagetti (awesome!).

So I get a call from D today wondering what time I get home. Turns out that her BFF needs a place to store her stuff for a couple of days and my garage came up first! So its not really a big deal except for the fact that parking is crazy horrible where I live. The closer to the beach you are worse it gets. So now I know why she feeds me at 11pm when i get home. For my garage. It's okay... I want cookies next.

Speaking of fattening food. I think its that time of year again to join the gym. My last gym membership was a big ol' cluster mess so I am going to have to rejoin. Great. I am looking at 3 different prospect. One of them our vendor goes to for business contacts. Which is an idea but I don't think i can talk figures while I am sweating. The other is a fu-fu gym but at least all the yahoo's are not there and the 3rd gym is the one I used to go to just a different location of it. The one I would be going to is in the middle of a lot of office buildings but I have a feeling it will be packed all the time. Decisions.

Why I don't sleep

2007-12-05T09:42:00.001-08:00

Today started unusually early for both of us. The BF is just sick and tired of having to battle traffic every morning from my house to his house everyday and I had a meeting at 8:30 so we woke up in the 6 o'clock hour this morning. Well at least he did and I stayed in bed, but it was useless. I am so used to having him in bed with me that I basically tossed and turned for another half hour before I gave up and got out of bed.

We have both admitted that we can't sleep without each other anymore. To the point no matter how tired either one of us is that we drag ourselves to each others houses to sleep in the same bed. Yep, we don't even live together. We do grocery shopping and costco runs together but we don't live together. With his business taking off I know there will be more than a couple of nights a year that he will be gone and I will probably have insomnia. Great.

So for his X-mas gift I am thinking of getting the Stiletto 2 any thoughts anyone?

Finally...

2007-12-04T09:36:00.001-08:00

In a bit of a better mood. Work hasn't gotten much better honestly but on the homefront at least I am less stressed out.

I put my apartment up for sub-lease / just take it over but all the people that have been interested have been really flakey. I know my apartment is more expensive than the rest in the area. Why? Because it is a lot nicer. Nice cost money. And no I am not making a cent on it. I am just transferring what the management company is charging me. I figure if all else fails I will just wait it out till my lease is up considering I am done in less than 3 months. Then again it would be nice to be in a new place before the new year. Oh well we will see what happens.

I did some major shopping for myself yesterday. Bought 5 pairs of shoes. I wore a pair of them to work today. I actually feel pretty in them. The outfit I am wearing is a little.... whats the word... not as nice, but at least I feel good with the shoes on. Oh and I also bought a pair of jeans, trousers and a cute plum shirt.

I really should be shopping for Christmas stuff. Or for my nephew's birthday present. My mom told me not to buy him anything cheap. Well Ma, as you know I am not in a position to buy anything fancy for him. I will buy him whatever I please. I don't need instruction. Or did you forget I am the best gift-buyer in the family?

Christmas has me all in an antsy. I dread the malls. I am still early enough to buy everything online though. Which I just may especially with everyone offering free shipping. I still hate christmas. I will have to do a seperate post about why.

The only thing I have going right now that isn't causing me any heartache is that the bf and I are still doing really well. I don't want to make it sound like a surprise that it is. I just know how I work and the fact that he hasn't ran screaming for the hills is a good sign. I have been a bit up and down lately emotionally lately *I'm still blaming the PMS* but he has totally been there all the way for me. *smile* I tell him (or I should) sometimes that I wish I had met him earlier in life so I could have saved some time and started my happily ever after a lot sooner.

Gah

2007-11-27T15:43:00.000-08:00

When one part of your life is going really well then the other one starts going to hell. In general and in the big picture it's not so horrible but while you are going through it you just hope for it to be done as soon as possible.

Work has been going pretty well. I have been in this position for over a year now and I have been with this company for over 4. I understand that this type of industry has its ups and downs. On top of that I also know that personal interferences can effect it as well. But what do you do when both come together outside of your control and wreak havoc on you?

You toughen up and keep a stiff upper lip.

P.S. I hate Christmas.

Thankful

2007-11-23T17:12:00.000-08:00

We did thanksgiving at the bf's house this year. It turned out reasonably well. While we were doing dinner we did a go around of what we were thankful for this year. Some of the guys couldn't take it seriously but the girls at least did. It was nice not doing it with family.

I reflected on what's happen in the last year and the changes that I am thankful for. I went from being almost unemployed to getting a promotion, getting out of a relationship that was not in my best interest and finding someone I am more compatible with.

I am looking forward to having a new set of things to be thanful for next year. :)

Everyone's Doing It

2007-11-09T10:57:00.000-08:00

Seeems everyone and their mom is involved in National Blogging Month. I can' barely keep up with a day in a month versus every day. Anyway, I've noticed that everyone has been telling stories of their past. This is one that came up in conversation recently that I didn't finish b/c it felt really weird telling it to the person I was telling it to.

I had a high school sweetheart that I was seeing from the end of my Junior year to my Senior year in high school. It ended becuase I ended it. Nice guy. Not the guy for me. He love me. I didnt love him. The funny thing is that even though I am the one that did it I was still miserable about the whole thing.

And you know misery loves company. I had already started college when I was in high school during my junior year. I was pretty bored with the high school scene and it was nice to hang out with people more at my level. So 2-3 nights a week I was at the college. I had made a few friends and made friends with friends. I had a friend Kristen in one of my photography classes my first year. The following year she introduced me to her friend Todd. At the time that Todd and I met we were both in serious relationships *well as serious at we could be for that time in our lives*. Then both of our relationships ended at the same time.

For the next couple of months we hung out all the time. I'm talking till 2-3 in the morning talking about nothing and watching movies that I would have never watched on my own. He is probably the reason I can watch independent and foreign films without falling asleep or that I don't only watch crap movies all the time. We never actually spoke of our relationships except to acknowledge their ending. We would go out to dinner hang out at his house or my house. At the time we still both lived with our parents. He went to my high school gradutation. My parents thought it was a little strange that a 23 year old guy was hanging out with a17/18 year old girl. I actually don't think they realized how old he was I think it was just the fact that he was in college and still hanging out with a high schooler. They still really like him, which is a hard thing to say especially about my mom. It was just comfortable.

We never had any kind of romantic relationship, but at one point I actually wondered if it could be possible. I even posed it to him which was a bold move for me. It just seemed like a natural progression considering that guys and girls can never be just friends. I never actually found him physically attractive even though now in retrospect he actually was good looking in a way. Anyway, the day I posed this proposition is the day our friendship went to hell in a handbasket. At the time I didn't understand what I had done wrong. Even now I don't think I did anything wrong I think it was just a matter of timing and the fact that we were really just friends. He just thought it was strange because we had been platonic friends for so long. When all this happened I had barely moved and he came over with a housewarming present. A book. A cook book. I am sure he would be glad to know that I still don't cook but I still have the book sitting in my kitchen. That was the last time we really hung out. I think this was about the time we both realized we had to move on from this little abyss we had created and start meeting new people if we ever wanted to have a shot of a real relationship vs. hanging out comfortably with somone you have no real romantic interest in.

I knew the little bit of... what would you call it... not romantic interest, but .... compatibility was there. Just not us together. Shortly there after he started dating another half mexican/white girl who was a little chubby and a little young. Since we couldn't work out I guess he went to the next thing that was as closest he could find. To this day I still wonder what ever happened to him. His parents live maybe 10 minutes from me and I pass by their house everytime I go to the drug store to pick up my meds. Every once in a while I think of actually stopping in and say hi because his parents were so sweet to me. I hope he doesn't still live there. I mean, he would almost be 30 and still living at home. I would assume he is probably doing well I think he finished his degree in English Lit which doesn't surprise me too much considering that he was kind of a nerd that way.

So if you are out there and you recognize this story about you.... I wish we had stayed friends. Platonic friends. Every time I hear Counting Crows I think of you.

Ketchup 2

2007-11-08T16:53:00.000-08:00

So I haven't really had anything relavent to say in the last couple of weeks so here it the catch-up.

Have hit 6 months with the BF. *Cheers!*
When you are so not used to normalacy when you get it, it scares you.
I am still dreading Christmas.
I am still not sleeping.... but at least I have better reasons behind it.
I haven't been shopping lately.... something must be wrong.
Pondering joining a gym again.
I can fake it really well to the point people comment on it. If they only knew it was a big fat lie.
Sometimes the things that you think can destroy you actually really do make you stronger.
Communication is key. No matter with who. Sometimes the most important communication is with yourself.
Third time is a charm *so I hope.*
School. 'nuff said.
I have been skipping out on Church. I have no excuse this week. I am going.
Note to Parents: Make a fuckin' effort. It's not my fault you are miserable in your own pathetic lives. Don't go raining on my parade. I already have a plan. Don't make me execute it.

Other bits:

I have another blog out in cyberspace that I am thinking of incoroprating to this one.... I haven't decided if it would be my brightest idea yet.
Has anyone else heard of Cringe? I think I have some good material for it.
I can't log into my twitter account because I am a retard.
I bought my first domain name this month. I haven't decided what to do with it yet. The cool thing is that I got free e-mail support with it for up to 200 accounts.
Cookies?
Living by yourself has a lot of perks but it's not all its cracked up to be. At least I don't sleep alone.
Happily ever after. Someday. :)

She doesn't talk much....

2007-11-05T09:23:00.000-08:00

My bf's uncle is a very nice guy but now I think he must be smoking something if he really believes I don't talk much. 98% of my bf's family is out in the middle of nowhere so I have yet to meet them. His uncle is the only one that comes out from the abyss to SoCal so he is the only one that has ever met me. The bf and I have talked about going up there for Christmas but it doesn't seem like that will be the case. Considering it snows, we either were going to do the "white christmas" or now it seems like we will have to wait till the summer/spring to go out again.
Anyway his uncle was telling me how great it was up there and once I go up there I will fall in love with it; and that I will love the family. I told him I hope they like me. He said as long as you talk they will love you.
I do talk! You normally can't shut me up! Sometimes I think I talk just to hear myself talk. They want talk they will get talk. Normally when I see him we are doing some sort of activity and there is a lot of people involved. Sorry I don't always want to be the center of attention *shut up, I really don't*.
Since I saw the bf's uncle I passed him my card to give to the bf's mom so she can help me with the bf's christmas gift. Mind you I don't even know this lady and I am asking for her help. I already have his family's gift planned out. I know we barely had Halloween last week but it's already time to start doing the Christmas stuff. I am working on Christmas card lists for myself, for my clients and for my office. I remember last year I did everyone elses but mine. Here's to me actually getting Christmas done without a hitch! *snort*

Race!

2007-11-02T13:34:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow I will be going to my first drag race. In September I went to my first drag boat race in San Diego. Before dating the current bf I had no idea that such things even existed! Last go 'round was an interesting experience. I was sick as a dog and I was dying and it was hot. Lets hope I don't have a repeat.

Week 3+

2007-10-11T13:52:00.000-07:00

So... beside a couple of trips and falls into a vat of meat I think overall I am doing pretty well. Down 12.6 lbs. I think really my saving grace is that my bf has been helping me with the cooking and shopping. I still haven't gotten to the point of working out yet. My mom keeps telling me I need to go to the gym. I know Ma! Ya think I don't know?

The only thing I have learned is that if I do it at my own pace I have a greater chance of success. It's like telling someone of my sedentary lifestyle to go run a marathon on a sprint after the first mile I am going to get discouraged. So leave me alone.

I did some retail therapy today. On giftcards. Nothing better than shopping when it's not costing you a dime. I haven't been shopping as much lately just b/c I need to do a better job at watching my expenses before they get out of control. I will cut down on some of my luxiuries. Just not today, or tomorrow. Or next week for that matter. Another thing that I got for free was a 42" flat screen that I have no idea what to do with b/c I already own 2 other ones. Albeit that this ones is bigger than my other 2, but... egh.... I am not that impressed anymore.

Not my kind of neighborhood.

2007-10-03T13:01:00.000-07:00

So I have only been in my apartment since march and while I do love my apartment I know in my hearts of hearts this isn't the place for me.
I love the city I live in even though it is 20 miles from my office. This is where I grew up. Not this side of town but this city. Since I have lived here my bf has gotten his car broken into, the neighborhood bar has been crashed into and there was murder/suicide about 6 houses down this weekend. Did I mention 2 of the 3 things I mentioned happen within the last 5 days? The kicker is I don't live on the crappy side of town. I live 4 blocks from the beach and I pay ridiculous rent for one person with no roommates. Love the granite and the newness of the apartment but I need to move up to a condo.

Always a day late and a dollar short

Summer What?

No Pictures included

New Year... just a little late

Fall?

Seriously... My brain could explode

Baco-Rama!

I'm Still Alive...

I wish I could say that....

I didn't fall into the well...

Headcase.

Hand Me the Brown Paper Bag Now

As Good as Martha Stewart in Prison

A Contest!

Like My Mom Says....

The one where Janet Jackson is my drunken bff and Miley Cirus is a *#%W#()

I didn't know I was related to Jerry Springer

LA you're not my home but a nice place to visit

Loo

Ketchup - Nose Job Edition

B/c I am horrible girlfriend and blogger

Happy Birthday to Me!

Look Ma I Can See!

Happy Birthday, Sort of.

Spring Cleaning - Shoes

Road Rants volume 1

Friends in Low Places

Feed Me!

Where the paycheck comes from

Brought to you by the letter V

I'm selling my soul for pennies on the dollar

Interview Me!

Cookies? Delurking?

In Review... Looking Forward...

Ketchup - Holiday Edition

Starting to feel a lot like Christmas....

Thanksgiving in the woods - better late than never!

Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out - An Open Letter

Tagged!

Rambling

That Dream Where It All Goes Down In Flames

Open Letters

Seems like a lifetime ago....

Commitments, decisions & a whole lotta money

I love Cake!

2 + 2 = 5

Open Letters

Note to Self

Summer Reading Extravaganza

It's one way to start a diet

It doesn't count as indecent exposure...

Ketchup #... Fuck it!

My therapist isn't on vacation....

Yes, I am just that cute.

It's Not a Quarter Life Crisis...

But He's A Mac Guy!

I'm not Jerry McGuire, I hope

No Foolin'

Callucci I have failed you

I am getting the last laugh!

Let Debbie-Downer Die!

Decisions

Dumpster Diving?

Moving Day

Ketchup 3 - February Edition

May the Spirit be with me

Bathroom Revelations

Meet The Parents, Part Dos

Long Day

No More Brokeback Mountain?

Catching up with the 21st Century

You actually noticed?

As good as Britney's Mom

What's in the bag?

They like me! They really really like me!

Silver-Lined Living

*knock on the screen* Anyone out there?

New Year 2008

Meet the Parents

For the love of shoes!

knock on the screen Anyone out there?

smile

Gah