Showing posts with label Celebrity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Celebrity. Show all posts

8/12/09

The one where Janet Jackson is my drunken bff and Miley Cirus is a *#%W#()

You know you've been exposed to too much social media when you start dreaming about it. I can't remember the last time I dreamt about anyone outside of my immediate friends and family or even blogland people.

Over the weekend I had a dream about Janet Jackson. We were at a charity event together where I was supposed to bring a banana peel to honor the organization the charity was for. I was introduced to Janet and she all of a sudden became all BFF with me and was chugalluging her booze. And she was wearing that outfit where she had the "costume malfunction". There was another guy who introduced himself as Sam somethingoranother and I didn't know he was a celebrity rapper. Which isn't too surprising considering I listen to country. Miley Cirus was on the otherside screaming at an assistant to get her a latte and being a total bitch and giving us the stink-eye for no apparent reason.

The next scene is us sitting front row on a catwalk and Janet wont STFU. And then Sam's name is said by the MC and he starts mumbling that he is not going up there and he is definatetly not performing. Janet is starting to slide off her chair and is yelling something about "I want those kids. I don't know why my mom got those kids and the damn money! Those are my kids and my money!" The models start coming down the runway and one of them passes out in front of Janet from being so starved and instead of people helping the model they are all trying to calm down Janet. I am looking after the model and Janet is screaming at me that she wants me to take her to her moms to pick up the kids. I tell her she is out of her mind and I am not driving her out to LA from Newport and she can spend the night at my house to get her shit together.

Yeah, crazy dream. Anyone care to share?

1/22/08

No More Brokeback Mountain?

I just read that Heath Ledger is dead!OMG! Sucks! Just sharing the news.

WTF?

1/14/08

As good as Britney's Mom

If you are a sane person you wouldn't ask Britney Spear's mom for teenage parenting advice right? So then why would you ask the person with the worst track record for relationships - relationship advice? It's worse than the blind leading the blind. It's the blindman telling the blind woman that he can see. It's not the blind woman's fault that she got lied to. Yet they both fall off the cliff together.

Speaking of Britney I heard that she was looking at house's over by where I work. No thank you. Stay on your side of LA. We don't need anyone else out here that is a shitty driver with a car that is worth more than what your mom made in 5 years before she started pimping you out running over our pedestrians and causing traffic jams to watch train wrecks.

Seriously. Go away, don't look back. We don't want you here.