When one part of your life is going really well then the other one starts going to hell. In general and in the big picture it's not so horrible but while you are going through it you just hope for it to be done as soon as possible.

Work has been going pretty well. I have been in this position for over a year now and I have been with this company for over 4. I understand that this type of industry has its ups and downs. On top of that I also know that personal interferences can effect it as well. But what do you do when both come together outside of your control and wreak havoc on you?

You toughen up and keep a stiff upper lip.

P.S. I hate Christmas.



We did thanksgiving at the bf's house this year. It turned out reasonably well. While we were doing dinner we did a go around of what we were thankful for this year. Some of the guys couldn't take it seriously but the girls at least did. It was nice not doing it with family.

I reflected on what's happen in the last year and the changes that I am thankful for. I went from being almost unemployed to getting a promotion, getting out of a relationship that was not in my best interest and finding someone I am more compatible with.
I am looking forward to having a new set of things to be thanful for next year. :)


Everyone's Doing It

Seeems everyone and their mom is involved in National Blogging Month. I can' barely keep up with a day in a month versus every day. Anyway, I've noticed that everyone has been telling stories of their past. This is one that came up in conversation recently that I didn't finish b/c it felt really weird telling it to the person I was telling it to.

I had a high school sweetheart that I was seeing from the end of my Junior year to my Senior year in high school. It ended becuase I ended it. Nice guy. Not the guy for me. He love me. I didnt love him. The funny thing is that even though I am the one that did it I was still miserable about the whole thing.

And you know misery loves company. I had already started college when I was in high school during my junior year. I was pretty bored with the high school scene and it was nice to hang out with people more at my level. So 2-3 nights a week I was at the college. I had made a few friends and made friends with friends. I had a friend Kristen in one of my photography classes my first year. The following year she introduced me to her friend Todd. At the time that Todd and I met we were both in serious relationships *well as serious at we could be for that time in our lives*. Then both of our relationships ended at the same time.

For the next couple of months we hung out all the time. I'm talking till 2-3 in the morning talking about nothing and watching movies that I would have never watched on my own. He is probably the reason I can watch independent and foreign films without falling asleep or that I don't only watch crap movies all the time. We never actually spoke of our relationships except to acknowledge their ending. We would go out to dinner hang out at his house or my house. At the time we still both lived with our parents. He went to my high school gradutation. My parents thought it was a little strange that a 23 year old guy was hanging out with a17/18 year old girl. I actually don't think they realized how old he was I think it was just the fact that he was in college and still hanging out with a high schooler. They still really like him, which is a hard thing to say especially about my mom. It was just comfortable.

We never had any kind of romantic relationship, but at one point I actually wondered if it could be possible. I even posed it to him which was a bold move for me. It just seemed like a natural progression considering that guys and girls can never be just friends. I never actually found him physically attractive even though now in retrospect he actually was good looking in a way. Anyway, the day I posed this proposition is the day our friendship went to hell in a handbasket. At the time I didn't understand what I had done wrong. Even now I don't think I did anything wrong I think it was just a matter of timing and the fact that we were really just friends. He just thought it was strange because we had been platonic friends for so long. When all this happened I had barely moved and he came over with a housewarming present. A book. A cook book. I am sure he would be glad to know that I still don't cook but I still have the book sitting in my kitchen. That was the last time we really hung out. I think this was about the time we both realized we had to move on from this little abyss we had created and start meeting new people if we ever wanted to have a shot of a real relationship vs. hanging out comfortably with somone you have no real romantic interest in.

I knew the little bit of... what would you call it... not romantic interest, but .... compatibility was there. Just not us together. Shortly there after he started dating another half mexican/white girl who was a little chubby and a little young. Since we couldn't work out I guess he went to the next thing that was as closest he could find. To this day I still wonder what ever happened to him. His parents live maybe 10 minutes from me and I pass by their house everytime I go to the drug store to pick up my meds. Every once in a while I think of actually stopping in and say hi because his parents were so sweet to me. I hope he doesn't still live there. I mean, he would almost be 30 and still living at home. I would assume he is probably doing well I think he finished his degree in English Lit which doesn't surprise me too much considering that he was kind of a nerd that way.

So if you are out there and you recognize this story about you.... I wish we had stayed friends. Platonic friends. Every time I hear Counting Crows I think of you.


Ketchup 2

So I haven't really had anything relavent to say in the last couple of weeks so here it the catch-up.

  1. Have hit 6 months with the BF. *Cheers!*
  2. When you are so not used to normalacy when you get it, it scares you.
  3. I am still dreading Christmas.
  4. I am still not sleeping.... but at least I have better reasons behind it.
  5. I haven't been shopping lately.... something must be wrong.
  6. Pondering joining a gym again.
  7. I can fake it really well to the point people comment on it. If they only knew it was a big fat lie.
  8. Sometimes the things that you think can destroy you actually really do make you stronger.
  9. Communication is key. No matter with who. Sometimes the most important communication is with yourself.
  10. Third time is a charm *so I hope.*
  11. School. 'nuff said.
  12. I have been skipping out on Church. I have no excuse this week. I am going.
  13. Note to Parents: Make a fuckin' effort. It's not my fault you are miserable in your own pathetic lives. Don't go raining on my parade. I already have a plan. Don't make me execute it.

Other bits:

  1. I have another blog out in cyberspace that I am thinking of incoroprating to this one.... I haven't decided if it would be my brightest idea yet.
  2. Has anyone else heard of Cringe? I think I have some good material for it.
  3. I can't log into my twitter account because I am a retard.
  4. I bought my first domain name this month. I haven't decided what to do with it yet. The cool thing is that I got free e-mail support with it for up to 200 accounts.
  5. Cookies?
  6. Living by yourself has a lot of perks but it's not all its cracked up to be. At least I don't sleep alone.
  7. Happily ever after. Someday. :)


She doesn't talk much....

My bf's uncle is a very nice guy but now I think he must be smoking something if he really believes I don't talk much. 98% of my bf's family is out in the middle of nowhere so I have yet to meet them. His uncle is the only one that comes out from the abyss to SoCal so he is the only one that has ever met me. The bf and I have talked about going up there for Christmas but it doesn't seem like that will be the case. Considering it snows, we either were going to do the "white christmas" or now it seems like we will have to wait till the summer/spring to go out again.
Anyway his uncle was telling me how great it was up there and once I go up there I will fall in love with it; and that I will love the family. I told him I hope they like me. He said as long as you talk they will love you.
I do talk! You normally can't shut me up! Sometimes I think I talk just to hear myself talk. They want talk they will get talk. Normally when I see him we are doing some sort of activity and there is a lot of people involved. Sorry I don't always want to be the center of attention *shut up, I really don't*.
Since I saw the bf's uncle I passed him my card to give to the bf's mom so she can help me with the bf's christmas gift. Mind you I don't even know this lady and I am asking for her help. I already have his family's gift planned out. I know we barely had Halloween last week but it's already time to start doing the Christmas stuff. I am working on Christmas card lists for myself, for my clients and for my office. I remember last year I did everyone elses but mine. Here's to me actually getting Christmas done without a hitch! *snort*



So tomorrow I will be going to my first drag race. In September I went to my first drag boat race in San Diego. Before dating the current bf I had no idea that such things even existed! Last go 'round was an interesting experience. I was sick as a dog and I was dying and it was hot. Lets hope I don't have a repeat.