Long Day

My stress levels have been up for the last 24-48 hours and I haven't been dealing too well. It started with a clusterfuck of a mess at work that was partially my fault. The other belonging to another party, but finally we ended up throwing someone else under the bus. Which I feel really horrible about because it's not in my nature to do that in my personal life so why do it in my professional? It was just a matter of logistics and the party that did get thrown down their kind of deserved it and with everything involved we would be on the losing end of it. Anyway not trying to justify it. It happened. I feel like hell about. The fortunate part of it is that it ended up clearing up today *even though it's not even necessary now* but at least now we wont be under a time crunch. Oh and I got chewed out by one of my superiors in front of 3 peers. Fun. This was the biggest fuck up I have ever had in this job.

On top of that with my stress levels up it ups all my other emotions. LJ was trying to be supportive and I just snapped at him. On top of that I just hung up on him. I felt bad. It wasn't his fault I just let everything get to me. He normally stays at his place and works late but seeing how upset I was he came right over even after I begged him to stay home and that I would be fine.  I guess thats what a guy does when he really cares about you.  I've been meaning to go see the psychiatrist. Hell I even called last week to make an appointment. They gave me paperwork to fill out before I even show up. I am just using it now as an excuse not to go. Procrastination. My first name. My  middle name. My last name.  Help.

I do have some fun stuff coming up on the horizon. If I could just get out of this funk and stop crying at sad country songs and happy country songs. Damn.


Goddess Adrasteia said...

Oy vey. We all have days like that, which would explain the crick in my neck. I just fixed a $150,000 screw-up on someone else's part and everyone's calling a big meeting with me this a.m. to find out why MY work isn't getting done. Hah. I'm supposed to go off-site next week and they're thinking of canceling my trip. Oh HELL no -- I booked three days on my own and I intend to enjoy them.

Cheer up and plaster on a smile for everyone -- that's what they pay us for. ;) Even if your teeth are gritted behind it!

At least you live alone. What I wouldn't GIVE to not have someone in my space. I just found out we're moving offices and going to a more open-air environment. Terrific -- I've lost my personal privacy AND my office door. A girl has a right to blow up, melt down and tune out when she needs to, hon. The world will keep on turning whether we want it to or not.

La said...

Ugh, sorry you had such a rough day! May I recommend copious amounts of chocolate, a bubble bath, and perhaps a massage? It will do wonders! Have a great weekend!

magda said...

Sounds rough! I think we all get like that sometimes, where the stress of the world and sucky circumstances blur our vision of the good. I do this a lot, and I snap out at people, too. Sounds like LJ's a real keeper though!

I think the important thing is to just keep going; just focus on getting through it rather than fixing it. I hope you had a fab weekend after all of this!

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