5/23/06

Dawn this made me think too much

And made me take a hard look at some of the stuff going on.
I AM: A silly girl. Not fully yet a women. Or at least not willing to admit to it. Yet.
I WANT: to do it all. I want the house, the kids, the husband and the career. I want to take care of and be taken care of. I want to finish my degree I want to lose all the "accidental" pounds.

I HATE: Some of the family. Wal-Mart. Egomaniacs. Anyone who purposely hurts me. The time it takes me to drive to work. Really cute shoes that hurt like hell to keep on all day, the fact that I still do. Pieces of  myself from time to time.

I MISS: Things I’ve never had. My innocence.
I FEAR: That I am just not gonna make it. Some of my past will come back to haunt me (and/or hurt me). I will not accomplish everything I want to. That what I can't control will tear me up.

I HEAR: Voices. Around my cubicle. At least this time not in my head.
I WONDER: What is really up the road for me. You can plan all you want but that doesn’t necessarily mean that is how its gonna happen.

I REGRET: Letting people get the best of me and leaving me the scraps. Not following through on goals I have set for myself.

I AM NOT: going to be the bottom of the barrel anymore.
I DANCE: With 2 right feet on the dance floor. When no one is looking.
I SING: Like a cockroach dying scratching down the chalkboard on its final trip. I sing in my car a lot. I just have to be careful that I don't close my eyes and get lost in the music.

I CRY: When I am really angry or upset. Crying to me is like internal combustion of anger, b/c it's easier to keep it inside than to let someone really have it. It's a preventative measure to make sure my foot doesn’t end up in my mouth or in someone's a**.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: The best person to turn to for advice. If I can't take care of my own issues, what makes you think I can take care of yours?

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: tickledons. And other tickling dinosaurs. :)
I WRITE: Here and some place else. It helps me deal. I wish I could articulate myself better in my writings.
I CONFUSE: Myself and others. Sometimes its just funny. Sometimes, hurtful. I need to stop.
I NEED: I wish I knew. If I did I would already have it or on my way to getting it. I kid myself and tell myself that I do need that extra pair of shoes.

I SHOULD: Do laundry, start packing, keep planning my move. Get a handle on my emotions instead of letting my emotions handle me.

I START: More things than I can really chew. It hasn't killed me yet, so I am assuming it is making me stronger.
I FINISH: Relationships. Till the bloody end. 


1 comment:

Dawn said...

I WANT: to do it all. I want the house, the kids, the husband and the career. I want to take care of and be taken care of. I want to finish my degree I want to lose all the "accidental" pounds.

You know, you just wrote what practically every woman wants and what not one of the rest of us has the balls to admit. I'm proud of you for the whole meme, actually. I was exhausted after I did mine. I hope yours did what it was intended to do, which was restore some faith and give you an ass-kicking at the same time. Of course, I'd be happy if I could reach my own ass to kick it -- I usually have to settle for whacking my shins instead! ;)