Ketchup - Holiday Edition

I wish I had a grand story to tell but I don't. So here are tidbits of whats been going on.

1. I am down 18 lbs., but honestly I am totally slacking off. I need to get back on the wagon.
2. Mom made tamales and I have a crapload of them sitting in my freezer... yet I am on a diet.
3. My bf and I did stocking this year b/c we did our big ticket items a month ago. I will smell good for the rest of my life. He got me a lot of smelly stuff plus some jewelery.
4. For those that are wondering what I got. I got a Wii! I need Wii Friends for Mario Kart if there are any of you out there. Oh and I want to do a Mii Parade.
5. I've been slow on my reading so I am still on American Wife.
6. Work has been slow. I don't talk about it much here but the company is all over the news or was in the last couple of months and it is affecting me directly. Everyone tells me I am lucky to still have a job.
   
7. Reason #5012 that my bf rocks: I am not much of a holidays person but my bf surprised me earlier in the month with my first ornament for my tree. This is the first time I have bought a tree for my own house on my own since I have lived with my parents.
8. Does anyone else watch infomercials late at night and want to buy the product. I really want the Cricut Cutter but I can't justify the price tag. Oh well there is still next Christmas.
9. My closet is full of clothes which is good... too bad not all of them fit.
10. I hate to say this but with most of the girls gone from my office with the lay-offs it feels kinda lonley.
    
11. LJ's mom sent me the church's cook book. I've just learned 1001 things to do with ground beef.
12. Am I the only one who has started planning their imaginary wedding with the bf that they have down to the guest list except there is no ring on the finger? Is that just me? Don't tell me I am crazy.
13. Speaking of crazy... some girl called LJ on christmas day at almost 10pm at night. I was like WTF? I was like who is that and why is she calling you so late? He didn't take the call. Said its just a friend that he made when he first moved down here, but he hasn't talked to her in forever. Still feels weird some girl calling my man.
    
14. Met LJ's fake grandma and family who lives nearby. They are pretty cool. Lot's of food. Mmm. Turkey.
    

Starting to feel a lot like Christmas....

Last year was the first year I had really celebrated Christmas in a long time. My family hasn't hosted Christmas since about when I moved away from home. Since then I never really did Christmas tree's or any other kind of celebrating save the office holiday party.

So far this year I have gone to see the christmas lights, sent out some Christmas Cards and actually have a real live tree in my house. Honestly, I think all this Christmas cheer has to do with LJ's love for the holidays. Before I was always the grinch and never wanted to participate in anything holiday related. I know that this year we will be going to Christmas Mass which I am pretty excited about. I will also be making home-made spiked eggnog for our christmas potluck.

When we were in the Northwest we went to Advent services at LJ's families church. They had just built this new church b/c the last one was too small. It was a beautiful church that was massive! It was a great service and the priest made it feel like it was a 2 drink minimum and the bad thing was that instead of completely focusing on the service **sorry God!** I was thinking "I could totally get married here!" Before anybody gets any bright ideas. No there was no engagement.

So I am actually looking forward to having a festive holiday this year. Everything may not be perfect in the world but we should at least enjoy some of the few happy moments we do have.

Thanksgiving in the woods - better late than never!

This year for LJ's birthday I actually planned ahead. I bought him tickets to go see his family for a week in the potato state. Compared to last year's fiasco of a 6 hours before the flight I figured this should be easy breezy.

First off when you have way too much time to think of stuff to bring you end up bringing everything but the kitchen sink *even though I considered it*. The flights weren't actually 2 bad. Well, except on the way back when I didnt realize we were supposed to make 2 stops during the flight. I actually brought a nice coat with me this time so I wouldn't freeze my keester off. It was so nice that while I was running across the street on some shopping venture some ladies yelled out to me ask me where I got it from.

You know you are loved when everyone knows that you are eating healthy even through one of the unhealthiest days of the year and they make the whole Thanksgiving dinner out of Cooking Light Magazine." LJ's grandpa almost had a heart attack over the idea but everyone enjoyed the meal. As light as it may have been it was pretty tasty. I had been bugging LJ to take me to Canada since we were already so close but that didnt happen. This ended up being a working vacation for both of us. Not with my real job but with helping the family. We at least got to see everyone in the family.

LJ's sister and I actually got to bond a good chunk of the time I was there. Everyone has made her out to be a super villan but once you get to know her she's not bad. She's a nice girl that has just made a few mistakes. Not saying she has necessarily learned from all her mistakes but she is really young and honestly at her age I hadn't either. So who am I to judge? In all this bonding time with LJ's sis and her mom I tried to get some dirt that I hadn't heard before. Either they were being nice and not selling him down the river or there really is no dirt. The only comment that LJ's sister made was that LJ was adament about not getting into a serious relationship until he was completely financially established *not in the middle of his start-up company*, yet they know he is serious and ready to settle down with me. There must also be some level of trust b/c other information was shared with me about other people in relation to the family that I probably wouldn't have heard otherwise.

Oh did I forget to mention that I went to my first Black Friday sales. Actually not as bad as everyone makes them out to be. Doesn't help that I didnt go to bed till 11pm to get up at 2am. That's what happens when you are out in the sticks. Last but not least I did not gain any weight over the week I was on vacay including thanksgiving and a prime rib dinner. I count that as a success.

Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out - An Open Letter

Dear Fat,

It's time for you to go. We've had a bad run for the last 6 years since the car accident. You are like my loser brother that I let sleep on my couch so long that it seems like you are gonna live here forever. I've hired the Lindora movers to get you the hell out of my life.

I know it's a drastic step to have to Lindora help get you out but I have tried so many times on my own and it never worked. This is it. I am 25 years old and I want to live a long healthy life. I don't want to be a fat bride that has to huff and puff up the church steps. I want to have healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. I don't want to have kids to see what kind of food to maintain the level of fat I have. I want them to be healthy and active. I want LJ to be healthy too. Before he met me he was on the right track but you were the horrible fat elephant in the room that dragged us back to the bad habits.

I hope to never see you again.

Sincerely,

Looking at smaller pants.

P.S. I would like to thank Goddess and Jess for being inspirations.

P.P.S. I've been on Lindora since Thursday and down 10 lbs.

Tagged!

Geez I can't remember the last time I got tagged.... so Magda did me the favor of taking the ugly girl home from the bar to put her out of her misery. Or the bar out of it's misery. Either way.

So six things about me....

1. My Spanish... not so bueno. Well depends on who you ask. I can read out loud but I probably can't tell you what it all means. My vocabulary is above "see spot run" but not much above that. I can write but I know its all spelled wrong. A native speaker can spot a mile away that Spanish is a secondary language and not a first, then they make fun of me. None of my friends speak Spanish which would help in my Spanish speaking abilities. The kicker is that my business card says "Hablo Espanol." The good thing is that it hasn't really been tested. All of my American friends think I am 100% fluent. Maybe b/c I tell them that I am and they don't know any better.
2. Sometimes people catch me concentrating and think I am having a real thought but really I am just doing clothing comibinations in my head, planning my next mani/pedi/massage.
3. The reason I cardmake besides the fact that I love real mail and sending it out is b/c I suck at scrapbooking. It's hard to scrapbook when you don't take a lot of pictures.
4. People in blogland don't know that I have a crazy shoe collection. They have their own seperate closet and are in clear plastic boxes. Now you know what Mel is short for. Seriously.
5. Since I started LJ I have become a horrible drinker. As in I used to be able to drink the best of them under the table. Now I am good on 2 drinks and thats it. LJ tells me he wouldn't want to be dating "that girl."
6. I started college when I was 16. See? I am smarter than I look. Now when I will finish that is yet to be decided.

As for the tagging... anyone who reads me (the 3 of you) you're it!

Rambling

I thought I would have something awesome to write but my brain is mush from the week. So here is a little recap of everything that has/is going on:

• I will be going to the Northwest for Thanksgiving to see LJ's family. I actually bought the tickets the middle of last month for LJ for his birthday which is the week before Thanksgiving. He is excited to see his family. I am excited to see his family too. Although, the last 2 times I have seen them I have been sick as a dog and I am hoping not on the 3rd time. Also, a lot of my shopping has been taken up with buying warm things for cold weather. Cuz in California? We have sunshine and puppies.
• Speaking of which? Sweet Baby Jesus its hot! I have all these cute Fall clothes and boots that I want to wear but even though I am by the beach its still hot!
• I've been house a dog my old roommate picked up 2 weeks ago in my backyard. He was on a main street and almost got hit by a car. She couldn't take him to the pound afraid of crying so I took him to a no-kill shelter but they wouldn't take him. The neighborhood is covered in signs and no one has looked for him. He is a great a dog but I can't keep one at my house. I will have to find him a home.
• My new roommate is moving in on Halloween. Sadly *pathetically* I have no plans for Halloween. Am I too old to get dressed up? Yeah.
• There is a restaurant in our neighborhood that we went to for V-day this year that was so awesome and yummy that we wanted to go back for dinner service. Then their chef quit. They still have breakfast which is awesome but for the last 8 months they have been taunting us with "Oh we will be open in the Fall". Guess what ya'll? Its Fall. And it's still not open.
• I am making another huge cake next week. This one is for Halloween. You know what? I am still over cake.
• My house for some odd reason gets real hot and right now with this weather its even worse . I can't bear turn on the AC b/c paying $188 electric bills between 2 people makes me wanna cry. Also, with this hotness my wine fridge struggles to keep my wine cool. It was so bad that I thought it was broken. LJ took it to his office to ship and turns out it works over there just fine. Now I have 2 wine fridges.
• There is a general consensus going around that I am weird b/c a) the thought of living in Seattle where its nice and cool albeit wet is very appealing and b) that I am okay with Gay marriage. I would think I live in place that has open-minded individuals but apparently I don't. I say let everyone be as happy or as miserable as everyone else.
• For any of you who check your stats and know where my cubicle is. I know as much as everyone knows and all I know is that we are set out for a bumpy ride next year.

Cheers!

That Dream Where It All Goes Down In Flames

I realize there are a lot of things in my everyday life that I don't normally write about here. Most of my friends think I am a do-gooder. For the most part I am pretty modest about what I do for good of the world and whenever anyone asks me why I do what I do my usual answer is to build karma points for whenever I do something really bad and hopefully have some left over when I get to the pearly gates.

This week I had an event that I organized for the women's group I mentor with for make-overs for women that are coming back into the work force. I've actually been working on this for 2 months trying to get people to come and help. You would think that working with a group that has a well recognized name would help the situation but not so much. The saying is time is money and money is time. People are being stingy with both.

I was finally able to conjure up 2 hair stylist and a make up artist for our event. I had a location and catering and goodie bags for the women participating in our event. It was all gravy. *Que the heaven music*

As I was doing my final confirmations for the people working our event in a span of 12 hours *i.e. the morning of* All 3 backed out. *Doom!*

So what do I do? The funny thing is that I had already had a dream about this happening and in that dream I had no resolution. We have 15 people coming for this plus our regulars and I have no hair and makeup people. Yikes!

With any problem you can throw money at it is what I have learned. Our event was being hosted at a major department store and we had many ins and one of my own personal ins. I guess if you shop their enough it comes in handy. Said department store has lots of Make-up and make-up artists. After some groveling and lots of money spent 4 of the counters agreed to do make-up for the under privileged. Oh and me b/c you can't host a make-over event and look like hell yourself.

So yeah maybe there was no hair done but the women who came did get their make up done and free stuff and a free dinner. Better than me trying to do a song and dance and sending them on their way right?

Open Letters

Dear Mom,

Do you remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer got sent to hell and Flanders was the devil? You know the one with donut? Where when he went to hell and got fed donuts as punishment?

I know how it feels now. Taking this cake decorating class sounded like a great idea when you and I discussed originally. I didn't mind spending the money (x2) or having to pick you up on my way home from work and driving you home at 10pm. What I do mind is that I have cake leftover up to my ears and I can't stand the taste of frosting. Before during class I would lick it off. Now I have wet wipes b/c the smell of sugar overtakes me. BTW did you realize how much Crisco is in frosting? And my gone Sunday/Monday nights before class for prep? Ugh.

Never again Mom. Let try sewing next time.

With a frosting full belly,
your hija

Dear Current Roommate,

I am glad you found a home to call your own. I am even glader that all your stuff won't be taking over the whole house. What you call clean and what I call clean are 2 different stories so don't forget to take your dust bunnies with you.

With your housewarming gift packed,
the cleaner of the 2

Dear Work,
What happened to the good ol' days of hours of 9-4:30 plus a 2 hour lunch. Quit kicking my ass and I will love you. Right now I love the paychecks but hate the hours.

your slave,
paycheck in wallet


Dear Paycheck,

Quit dissapearing me.

- dwindling bank account

Seems like a lifetime ago....

Sept. 11, 2001. It was my first fall out of high school. I was done being an office bitch for the summer and was off to my training for a sales job. I was on my way to training around 7 something in the morning west coast time. I was listening to a local shock jock and they were talking about what had happened earlier in the morning. I thought it was a sick joke and was just disgusted at the show.

I made it to training and turns out it was true. It was all true.

Commitments, decisions & a whole lotta money

Even though it seems like I am never around I am always reading. I read so much that I hardly ever write myself. I used to write when I was in the office but I've just been so dang busy that I don't even get to do that anymore. Busy at work is always a lot better than twiddling my thumbs.

The big news of the last couple of months is that LJ and I have been talking about moving in together. It's been going on since March but I didnt want to jinx it by going public with it before knowing it was all happening. The bigger news is that I decided to buy a house. The original plan was to move in together but considering the amount of rent that we are willing to pay we can afford a house. Worse comes to worse I can afford a house. I've learned my lesson about mixing finances before marriage and I'm not willing to do it again.


So where do we live? How big of a house? We have an idea of what we want b/c we have specific needs. 2 bedroom, would prefer a house over a townhouse, would prefere a townhouse over a condo. Beggars can't be chooser though. We need a 2 car garage (considering we have 3 cars between the 2 of us), air conditioning, i would like hardwood floors but its not really a deal breaker.

The other part of the move is really with location. LJ and I live about 17 miles apart and I live 17 miles farther from work. The city I live in is my hometown and all my friends and family are here. He is from the Northwest with only a brother out here but all his friends (frat brothers) all live near him now. His office is less than a mile away from his current location. Living in LA or in the near vicinity even if something is really not that far it can still be a pain to drive to b/c of LA/OC traffic. Anyone who has to deal with 405 going anyway during rush hour knows what I am talking about. I actually don't want to move closer to work b/c I really dont care for the area. I kind of want to stay in the city I am in now but I know I can't afford to buy in the neighborhood I currently live in. LJ would prefer that I move as close to his office as possible as he knows he is not going anywhere anytime soon since I really don't know what my plan is for the next couple of years. Honestly, the thought of commiting to live anywhere for the next 5 years is pretty scary considering that I have been out of my parents house for 7 years and the longest time I have lived in one place was 3 years and almost everywhere else for less than a year. Different cities different counties.

I've already put a couple of offers in and have been outbid and that's even putting in at asking price. The market seems to have slowed down with the end of summer but I would ideally like this straightened out by the end of the year. I am just hoping I can find not the place I am truly in love with but something that is better than rental living that can be a good write-off for the next couple of years. My roommate already found a place that she just went into escrow with this last week so she will be moving and guess what that means? LJ will be moving in next month.

I love Cake!

It's great see that everyone out in blogland is having a pretty productive summer. I wonder how some people make the time to be able to write everyday. I have been relatively busy for the last couple of weeks with my life starting to make a little more sense.

I can't cook. There I said it. I don't think I am the only one out there that can admit to this. My mom tried teaching me growing up but I always refused. I think it had something to do with her prefacing the lesson with "If you don't learn how to cook no man will ever love you." So I purposely never learned how to cook to prove her wrong. B/c you know what Mom? Men still love me and they cook for me! The only thing that sucks about this is that when you are single you don't have anyone to cook for you or worse if you do have someone you don't want to bother them with the cooking all the time. So what's a girl to do? Take a cooking class. Last week was my first day at said class. My roommate is taking the class as well. The teacher was threatened by the Dean if there was not enough participation in the class that it would be cancellled. Just b/c LJ wanted me to learn so bad he enrolled in the class in hopes getting the class not cancelled. Turns out it was too little too late. The class was cancelled. :(

My domestic dreams all turned upside down I try to make lemonade out of the lemons I was handed. I looked at the rest of the schedule and decided to take a cake decorating class. B/c who knows when it might come in handy right? I may want to decorate my wedding cake or something in the far off future. So there you go. I am gonna have my domestic cake and decorate it too.

2 + 2 = 5

It seems everyone but me had something fun going on for Labor Day weekend. Sadly in my 25th year of life it feels like I am closer to 40 than 25. I ended up working over the weekend and doing homework. I did hang out with LJ but even that consisted of him helping me with my homework.

One of my goals for 2008 was to go back to school. So here I am universe, in school! I don't know if it was my brightest ideas to start with one of the classes I am dreading and having the biggest mental block over but might as well jump in heads first b/c it really cant't get much worse than this. Oh for the record I am taking a math class. Not even a class that would be considered hard just a class that I never took in high school. Intermediate Algebra. So if any of you are really good at math send me a g-chat invitation I could use all the help/moral support I can get.

I finished the homework on time *thank gawd* but I still want to do the bonus work. My over-acheiving even if it sucks I am gonna do it self won't let me not do the bonus work.

Open Letters

Dear Mall,

Last Sunday I was reminded why I hate visiting you. You are crowded and have a lot of useless stores you have people trying to pull you away from the crowds to sell you something useless.  The parking lot is full of people who don't know how to drive, who try to run you over even when you are in the cross walk. With your 5 bajilloon teeny-boppers just taking up space b/c the have nothing better to do on a Sunday night.

Also for letting soccer moms put their kids on leashes. Seriously! It's bad enough that the kids on a leash but the worse part is that she can't even control the kid who is running her all over the place (including into me). A little Dog whisperer anyone? 

With all that said I will do what I have been doing for all these years to avoid the inner hell of the mall.... Go during lunch on weekdays only to the anchor stores. Or not at the mall at all.

Not Loving You,

Shopping Elsewhere

To: All the girls that hang out in the office bathroom

Get a life. We are not in high school anymore. Let a girl drop off the kids at pool in peace.

-Girl  in Stall 3

Note to Self

As your mom told you don't do anything bad that looks good or anything good that looks bad. It normally ends up biting you in the ass. Also, don't do anything that would jeopardize any of your work relationships. You know what you did and look a year later it came back to haunt you not from the direct party involved but a close relation that could have really fucked you.

Really it could all be a hallucination but there is enough guilt there for you to question the whole scenario.

Bad Mel.

Summer Reading Extravaganza

Since all the Cool Kids are doing it... here I am with my Summer Reading list:

1. Love the One You're With - Emily Giffin
2. Shoe Addicts Annoymous - Beth Harbison
3. How to Be Single - Liz  tuccillo
4. The Wedding Officer - Anthony Capella
5. Chasing Harry Winston - Lauren Weisenberger
6. Certain Girls - Jennifer Weiner
7. The Gate Crasher - Madeleine Wickham (AKA Sophie Kinsella)
8. Remember Me? - Sophie Kinsella
9. The Office of Desire - Martha Moody
10. Queen of Babble in the Big City - Meg Cabot
11. The Best Day of Someone Else's Life - Kerry Reichs

I've bought most of these books within the last 3 weeks but have been putting most of my time into crotcheting. I am almost done with my first scarf and now moving on to a throw blanket. Maybe I should be buying audiobooks so I can do both a the same time. 

As for the books on my list.... I doubt I will get through them by September but it will be fun trying. There are some new authors in here I have never read along with some favorites that have new books out. I am not sure how many people knew that Sophie Kinsella's real name is Madeleine Wickham. This is also the first time I have read a Meg Cabot book. Lauren Weisenberger is the author who wrote The Devil Wears Prada and also Everyone Worth Knowing which I do recommend.  I've read  Martha Moody before and I liked her enough to buy another one of her books.  Certain Girls is the sequel to Good in Bed but the storyline is probaby not what you would expect. Jennifer Weiner is the author who wrote In Her Shoes. For the record the book is way better than the movie. Go read it!

So that's that. I now need to go get ready for work before I am late. I also have some pics I have to post for you guys to see the new excitement in my house. 

It's one way to start a diet

Since Saturday I've lost 6 pounds and counting. New diet? Cabbage only? No carbs, all meat you ask? No! No way to kick start a diet like food poisoning! I don't know how I got it or when I got it all I know is that it's still here. I have wasted a Monday doing absolutely nothing b/c I haven't been able to be away from the potty too long and everything hurts.  I think the only perk I have had is that I have been able to catch up on my feeder. 

As for the weekend... it makes for an interesting ride when you are with 2 guys in a car for 8 hours. Somewhere between the confederate flags and the deer signs and the cow fields I knew I wasn't in LA anymore. LJ called this the drama side of the family and he wasn't kidding. The bride and groom were really sweet. I only wish them a happy life.

When we went to see LJ's family for Christmas last year I was lucky enough to get sick then too. I wonder if his mom ever thinks "this sickly girl".  The more I get to know LJ's mom the more I realize that we think a lot a like. The funny thing is that LJ and my mom think a lot alike too. When LJ went to go run an errand his mom and I touched a sticky subject that I have an opinion on but I thought I was the only one. LJ has a little brother CJ who is a year older than me. He's a nice enough guy gives me a hard time. LJ tells me that its because his little brother is threatened by the fact that LJ and I have such a close relationship.  Anyway CJ has a girlfriend that he has been on and off for 2 1/2 years. His gf lets call her SS is a nice enough girl, smart, pretty. She has been nothing but gracious and kind towards me. The bad thing is that for some odd reason she just drives me up the wall. Maybe it's b/c she is pretentious without a clue. 

When LJ's mom and I were talking she pointed out that she didn't know why CJ was with SS if they will never get married. CJ has told his mom that he has thought about moving back to the Northwest and giving up life here in SoCal. SS has just earned a graduate degree and has stated that she will take a job wherever (i.e East Coast) she can get one. When LJ and I were talking about going up North to see his family and he mentioned CJ was coming and so was SS the first thing out of my mouth was "Why is she coming? It's not like they are gonna be together." LJ has even made comments starting with" I hope CJ's next girlfriend...".  Maybe it's because we are on the outside and not looking in. Then again you never know what goes on behind closed doors .  I really shouldn't care as much, yet I do. It will work it's self out no matter what LJ, LJ's Mom or I think.

It doesn't count as indecent exposure...

If I didn't know I was doing it! LJ and I are going to a wedding leaving tomorrow to BFE Nor Cal. I in general am not good on road trips because I get carsick and I fall asleep. 10 hours in a car with LJ and his brother should be interesting.
Anyway I forgot with said wedding trip that we would be in the water for the first 2 days on a boat working on our tans (or sun burns). So I did what any respectable girl would do and scheduled a wax appointment. I haven't been able to find anyone near home so I have to go near my office. My office being 20 miles from home and my appointment being an hour after I get off from work. With that said I was freaking out that I didn't have time to go home and take a shower like I normally would. Then I get this bright idea to take a shower at the gym.
One of the main perks of going to my gym is that they provide everything including towels. So I go to the gym passing a fire truck and an ambulance in front of the building, walk into the locker room drop off my stuff at my locker, walk over to get my towel which is next to the bathrooms. I see a bunch of people in the bathroom area of the locker room but it doesn't click in my head that there is anything going on. I walk back to my locker get undressed walk back through said bathroom area to get to the showers I see a couple of people glance over and I keep walking. Right when I am about to close my shower curtain a girl rushes up to me and says " you do realize there are a bunch of paramedics in the ladies locker room right?" D'oh! Those were the eyes that looked up at me! Hello firefighters!
Apparently there was a lady with a heart attack or something. They are lucky they didn't get a second case.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed

Ketchup #... Fuck it!

1. I spent a lot of money on clothes... now I have some returns.
2. Work is actually not completely stressing me out.
3. BTW b/c I failed to mention my birthday was 2 weeks ago and my anniversary was a week ago. Or was it 3 and 2.
4. I have a lot of books to read including See Jane Write. Any other chick lit lovers around these parts?
5. I hate the heat, spent most of it in air conditioning. What sucks is that when I went to the office today the air-conditioning wasn't working.
6. Anyone else watching The Bachelorette?
7. Mentally still coming and going.
8. I learned how to crotchet. Not well but at least I am trying. Does that make me an old lady? Note to self don't attempt to crotchet with booze in the belly.
9. Summer! Already have a couple of trips planned not very far, but at least meaningful. *Read: More time to get in good with his family.*
10. I just got a book of New York Times Crosswords. I actually suck at these but I figured it would help me expand my knowledge/vocabulary. Anyone else into them?
11. How's everyone else doing?

My therapist isn't on vacation....

but I am totally feeling mental today. I see her tomorrow but I am deep into my emotions today. I don't know if its all the booze I've consumed for the last couple of days or if its the fact that Aunt FLO is due to visit, I am just not feeling right.

There's a lot of things that have been floating around lately that I haven't talked about. One of them being my mental health is running amok again and I don't want to deal with it. I take that back. I don't want to be medicated. I know that it would be the best thing for me and it would solve a lot of my other issues that I have going on, its still just scary you know?

I keep asking why can't we fast forward life for a couple of months to just to through the rough spots. I know why. Because thats how we miss the good that would have came with the rough and worse thats how you just fast forward to another rough patch - we can never tell what's really gonna happen.

One of the few things I have going for me is that at least I know I am loved.  I am grateful for that. 

Yes, I am just that cute.

LJ and I were having a discussion about what I want to do for a living. I told him jokingly that I want to be a stewardess (PC I know). He said it would be rough. Why? B/c all sorts of guys would be hitting on me. I went on to say, how do you know that doesn't already happen? It does!

It used to happen more often than it does now, but then again I am a little older and I have just learned to ignore creepy men now.


So today I went to Costco for lunch and I was standing in the registration line for my renewal/card. So the guy behind me starts chatting me up trying to impress me with "I just left the studio" and we are talking about parties (he's there to stock up for a party) and booze (which is my main reason for going there 98% of the time) and I could totally feel it. I have no interest whatsoever, but it still feels nice you know?

So there! You see I get hit on all the time.

It's Not a Quarter Life Crisis...

I think it's more of a quarter - life turn. A lot of things have been buzzing around my head lately with my upcoming birthday. I will be the big 2-5 on Wednesday. I've been having my own internal pressures of "what am I doing in my life?" along with LJ and my mom.

So here the deal... a lot of things have to change for me to be ultimately happy. Work wise, I think it's getting stagnant. Better, I am getting stagnant. A lot of people who do my job actually stay here forever. That's not for me. I think I want to stay doing the same thing I do just not in the same industry. There are certain aspects of my job that I truly enjoy like the personal interactions, the numbers and even a little bit of the stress. I am not happy unless I am really busy. At the same time I question the fact if that is a true statement or if it's just something I have lead myself to believe b/c of the way I live my life. I have accepted the fact that I am always busy not necessarily that I always like being so busy.

The other thing that has been looming over my head is this whole college thing. Anyone who doesn't know my family directly doesn't know that: a) I am one of 2 people on both sides of the family that speak English (the other being my brother), b) I am the only one that actually finished high school (in the states or abroad), or c) I am the only one who has even attempted college. Not to say that I am a total slacker and that I went one semester and dropped. I think I am on that 10 year now changing into a 12 year program. I started when I was 16 and have been going part time ever since. On and off. I have been off for almost 2 years now. You don't even realize that you get off track for so long. Life gets in the way with having to support yourself sometimes your education gets put on the backburner. So for the summer I am not going to school ( I did that and hated every second of it) but I am going to take a fun class like dance or calligraphy just to get the mental juices flowing and being back on a set schedule. In the fall I will take one "real" class just to get me warmed up for whatever I decide to do for the spring.

Ideally, there would be a way for me to have a job that would work around my school schedule that didn't pay minimum wage. I think that's the hardest thing to come to terms with. Most people go back to school b/c they need a better education to get more money. I've cut my expenses so low that I could probably live off of a student salary. Do I want to? No. I already make decent money doing what I do. Getting a degree would make no difference.

There are good things coming within the next couple of months that are fun and exciting, but I have a habit of posting the things that are making my head first vs. the things that give me butterflies. Next post. I promise.

So happy Birthday to me on Wednesday. 25 here I come!

But He's A Mac Guy!

For those of you who haven't read me too long might not be aware that I am a Mac Girl. No not the cosmetics, too thick for my skin. Anyway, after having a long weekend of partying (another post) Saturday night I came back to my house with a party going on at 1 am.

My roommate KC was there with a bunch of her friends all of them still drunk from the days activities. Considering I hadn't drank I didn't find most of their antics funny. I figured if I tried to go to bed I would be unsuccessful at actually getting any sleep. Her friends were nice enough and KC kept on talking about some "really hot guy" that was supposed to be coming. said Hot Guy came and I was surprised he was actually hot. Sometimes KC's judgement is clouded by the booze. So HG and some of the other dudes started talking about UFC *and the burning question of who actually won the fights b/c none of them watched it" and I went to go pull my computer. Turns out HG is a Mac Guy. So HG came over and started looking at my computer thinking he has the same one... *No, honey. You don't.* and bowed to the greatness of my computer. KC went into her room wating for HG.

So fast-foward half an hour later we are still talking about all things Mac when my roommate comes back into the living room and Drags him away from me.That was the end of that. The following morning I talk to KC turns out she slept with him but wasn't that into him. Damn! I don't care if you are into him, I just want you to see him again so I can exchanger Mac ID's with him! Seriously KC will you sleep with him again so I can get his contact info?

*On a side note shouldn't you know the last name of the guy you sleep with unless you want to end up like a sad country song?*

I'm not Jerry McGuire, I hope

I don't even know if I spelled the name right. I have been under a lot of stress lately with things that affect me directly. I am worried that I am gonna stay up one night and write a long book of gibberish and distribute it and walk out with the goldfish. Just sayin'.

I will be back when I can write a coherent sentance or a least pretty bullshit.

*Cheers!*

No Foolin'

I am in the office right now and I am hoping my work flow stays to the level its at now for the rest of the day. By 7:10 tonight I will be on the plane for Sin City. Just going for 2 days while the bf works I will be ordering room service. Hard life right?


Hope everyone has a great april fools!

Callucci I have failed you

When I was a kid I took karate*side chop* classes for 3 years. My parents instead of putting me in nice girly activities like say brownies or girl scout they put me in with a bunch of boys, including my brother. I wish I had pictures to show you guys.

My brother and I are 3 years apart, he being 3 years older than I, but as kids we were the same size. Especially in the 8-11 arena. We had knick-names in class mine was "watermelon head" his was "blind bat" *Hi Bro!*. Anyway we werent really that good but I made it as far as yellow belt and I think he made it to green.

The only reason this memory was brought up is because last night I took a cardio-kickboxing class last night with my friend V. She was all pumped up about it and she works out like 3-4 times a week (even though she has been slacking off with me lately, I have that effect on people) so she was stoked to see me go. Anywho... seriously... someone help me hear.... you know the dorky kid that is in aerobics class that you know that doesnt belong there? That was me. I sucked. They were going left.... I was going right.... they were kicking.... I was punching. It was so bad that one of the older ladies stopped and asked me if it was my first time and I'm thinking "Is it that apparrent?"

So Calluci (my karate teacher) sorry. I just suck at this. I am going back to yoga were even though I may be sweaty and gross at least i know the moves. Sorry to my high school step aerobics teacher too. Better luck next lifetime.

I am getting the last laugh!

So 2 major things have come to surface this week. One I can't discuss in too much detail but the person(s) involved dicked me around too much on so many levels and deserves whats coming to them. Cheers Bitches! *Can you smell the animosity?*

The second one slighlty more detail. So you know sometimes there are people you should not become involved with yet somehow you talk yourself into thinking its a good idea? I had one of those. I can't even call him a bf. Things didn't end as I would have wanted but what can you do? I still have contact with this person just because of the nature of what I have going on in life and even if I don't have to speak to this person directly we still have a lot of people in common. Anyway I found out they were seeing someone new and they asked me if x or y had told me. I didnt know anything about it until it came out of their mouth. This was all confirmed by photos floating around and the only thing I could think in my head "Geez, you got older and fat since the last time I saw you. And that girl with you isn't that cute and to top it off she's old! Glad I didn't keep wasting my 20 something's time." *Barf*

Anyway seeing what turned out just put me in such a good mood. In both cases.

Let Debbie-Downer Die!

I was just reading my last posts and wow I sound depressed. So things may not be super awesome right now but lets share some of the good things right now shall we?

1. I am finally done moving. I still have stuff to unpack but it's nice to have gotten rid of so much stuff that I was just carrying around with me.
2. I found my new crack: McDonalds Iced Coffee. Turns out McD's is competing with Starbucks now and they have a better quality bean.
3. Reading: Eat Pray Love.
4. Will get out of work early on St. Patty's. Even though you can't really do much on a Monday night.
5. Got paid today!
6. My desk at work will be clean by the end of the day so I will have an easy Monday!
7. LJ and I are having our first "Lazy Saturday" in months b/c we both work so much.
8. When I come home tonight my house will be clean and my laundry will be done.
9. My new roommate will be gone next weekend for Easter so I will have the house to myelf.
10. Last but not least.... I am going to kick myself to start going to the gym more. Seriously... I have an NBA team that plays in the courts right in front of ellipticals. *Drool*

Decisions

Seem's like only yesterday LJ and I started dating. We are less than 60 days away from our year anniversary. Whowouldathunkit? I know most of you guys have been with your guys forever so a year doesn't seem like that long but you know to everyone its different.

A not very known fact around here is that I have been engaged twice. The first time was a giant mistake and it was just a band-aid to cover up a huge problem. I was young and dumb. The second go 'round seem like the right thing to do but I knew in my hearts of hearts that he wasn't the one for me.

LJ and I have been talking about long-term plans for a while now. Last night he told me something that was totally unexpected.

"If I was basing this decision only on emotions you and I would be married already."

Yay! In the same discussion he also brought up something that he knows will affect me greatly. LJ is an entrepreneur. I am a 9-5 girl that likes very little things to change and I love stability. LJ is very seat of his pants in everything he does while I am methodical borderlining OCD. I like to have control of everything. Funny thing is had you asked me 4 years ago I was a totally different person. His concern is he knows me very well and he knows that I have worked very hard to get to where I am at and he wants to make sure that I can handle emotionally the ups and downs that come with his business. Odd question? Not really. He knows I get anxiety relatively easy and he knows on the downtimes of his business he will already be kicking himself and he just wants to know that I wont be kicking him while he is down *i.e.: telling him to get a 9-5*.

Seriously, what the hell can I say to that? I love him, I will support him 10, 20 or 50 years down the road. Besides, its not like I don't bring enough home to support both of us and then some. Or does he expect me to say now that I don't think I can handle what MAY happen in 10 years and miss out on a great relationship based on something that MAY happen? One of the reasons I love him is the fact that he is ambitious. Hell he just got a business off the ground this year, we don't know the full results yet but still it take a lot to get it going.

Thoughts anyone?

Dumpster Diving?

So I know I have been a bad blogger. Even if it seems I am not around. I am here all the time. Normally just trying to catch up on my reader. I haven't even been a good commenter. Apologies to all.

Anyway on to the original subject. So from my last post most of you should have seen I have moved. The move was semi-planned but not really. I've known I was going to move for the last 2 months, I just didnt do much about it. I did throw away a lot of things and some things I couldn't get rid of till the last minute from guilt.

When my Ex and I broke up I had already moved into the aparment I just vacated. That move was even less planned b/c we only had six days to get the hell out of there. That's another story for another day. Anyway a lot of things got moved into my garage that I never looked at that were his. I knew they were down there. In the few months of friendship that we had after the break up I urged him to pick it all up. Even till recently I would send him text messages and I even called his dad to let him know that I have his stuff in my garage. My Ex was very passive-aggressive to say the least. So why am I making such a big deal about his stuff? Why didn't I just throw it out? Why didn't I Ebay it? B/c I have a heart. I was bugging him to come pick up all his family albums and pictures of when his son was born. *Yeah, who knew I was a psuedo-stepmom for 2 1/2 years*. I just couldn't imagine what I would feel if someone threw out something so important. He had 12 months to come and get it, yet he never did. So all this stuff that ended up being at least 3 boxes that actually moved ended up in my new garage.

I just coudn't take it anymore. We still have a lot of unresolved financial issues that I am still paying for that I can't even take advantage of that I am still angry about because he has now completely dissapeared. So all his stuff got thrown in the trash. Sadly, instead of feeling better it I actually feel worse. I don't really think it has to do with him but more with his son. His son and I were very close b/c the mom for a long time was very away and unstable. Then she went on to have another child and he was more or less ignored. He will never get to see all those pictures.

Congratulations asshat you just took some more of your kids dysfunctional childhood. If you would like to see your pics again go to the local dumpster they will be there. Fucker. I'll see you in court.

Moving Day

So today is day 1 of my big move. I know I should be excited about this move but in fact I am hating it. I am waiting for my dad to come over and I haven't done much of anything.

I should be exciting about having 2 days off., yet I'm not.

Moving sucks. My mood sucks.

Ketchup 3 - February Edition

I am here. I have just been slammed with work. So here are tidbits of whats been going on for the last couple of weeks. I am still trying to catch up with my reader.

1. Valentine's Day didnt suck this year. Had some amazing food and thoughtful gifts. That didn't get paid out of my checking account.
2. Have tickets to see Blake Shelton tonight and no one to go with. And I actually paid for these tickets!
3. Painted my new room at my new house.
4. Got new shiny furniture for my new room.
5. Falling in love with a hobbie again.
6. Excited about this move thing.
7. Panic Attacks down.
8. Things still in the shitter with the fam. Trying to help them though.
9. Paying for a gym membership that I haven't been going to.
10. Things are going surprisingly well with LJ and I.
11. LJ's grandma and aunt sent me V-day presents! How cute is that!
12. I am sending back the thank you cards today within a reasonable amount of time.

I swear I will craft a real post soon. Anyone want to add a line of their own?

May the Spirit be with me

For anyone who's not Roman Catholic today is Ash Wednesday. For Lent we are supposed to give up something we like. Okay, so I am not a really great Catholic but at least I am trying. Anyway, I finally figured out what I am giving up. All sugary drinks. I don't drink Coke or Diet Coke or any other type of dark soda but if there is a Fanta or a Crush around I am all over it. Since I don't drink a lot of soda in general you would think this wouldnt be much of an issue. Except I love lemonade. I could have lemonade all day. So day one 1 and I went to whole food and and bought Metro Mint Lemon Water and gah... not good. I think its also b/c I am not much of a mint lover. I am trying to find new alternatives on what to drink that doesnt have sugar and I won't drink anything with fake sugar thanks to this book.

Any ideas on what I should be drinking? Oh, I am already stocking up on Republic of Tea drinks. Yum!


P.S. I swear I have some real posts coming up. Like the music swap... I didnt forget about you Sparkel.

Bathroom Revelations

Dear whoever uses the big stall before me.

Dude, double check to make sure there are no left-overs. It's okay to double flush. That's nasty!

love,

the girl who wants a clean throne.


Dear Girls Talking in the bathroom,

Thanks for stoping your conversation when I walked in. Hopefully it wasn't about me.


Love,
your co-worker


Dear People who walk in when there is someone in one of the stalls,


You never know who is in the stalls or if they are the person that is about to get fired that doesn't know it yet.

Love,
Fortunately not that person

Meet The Parents, Part Dos

I have a habit of calling everyone and their mom when I am driving home from work during the week. Mostly b/c this is the only time I have to sit and not be disturbed by anything else. That and if I sit still too long without any kind of movement I get real sleepy. Especially when it's warm. Does that happen to anyone else?

Since I call everyone and their mom... I called LJ's mom. Turns out I had not lost the the scarf she gave me for X-Mas but I had left it at her house. So we were catching up and she was telling me that her son never calls her just to chat. Of course not. LJ hates to talk on the phone. Hell I am the only person he really even talks to on the phone. I have my own special ringtone on his crackberry *whole 'nother post*,

I think I pointed it out in my last post about meeting the parents that LJ hadn't met my parents and that LJ's mom knew said fact. So when I was talking to her last Friday she asked me if we had finally done that. Fortunately this was a phone conversation vs. say a video conferance or worse an in person. I'm sure she would have liked to have seen the deer in the headlights look that crossed my face at that moment. So I came up with the best thing I could say "As a matter of fact my mom and I were discussing what should be made for dinner when LJ and I come over this weekend."

Not exactly a lie but my mom was kind of like, "do we really have to do it this weekend?" I won't bore you with all the details but here goes: The dinner started later than expected & we stayed there till almost 1 in the morning. My dad and my bf were doing tequila shots and I had a margarita (or 2?) My bf and parents found common ground in making fun of me. Or my lack of domestication. My bf went as far as asking my mom why she never taught me how to cook. My mom fired back " what are you talking about? I still try to teach her how to cook! she just doesn't listen!" Yes LJ that is the life you are looking forward to - undomesticated bliss.

The nice thing (well at least for me) is that since they don't speak the same language so at least I can translate selectively. All in all I think it was a good meet and greet. 

Long Day

My stress levels have been up for the last 24-48 hours and I haven't been dealing too well. It started with a clusterfuck of a mess at work that was partially my fault. The other belonging to another party, but finally we ended up throwing someone else under the bus. Which I feel really horrible about because it's not in my nature to do that in my personal life so why do it in my professional? It was just a matter of logistics and the party that did get thrown down their kind of deserved it and with everything involved we would be on the losing end of it. Anyway not trying to justify it. It happened. I feel like hell about. The fortunate part of it is that it ended up clearing up today *even though it's not even necessary now* but at least now we wont be under a time crunch. Oh and I got chewed out by one of my superiors in front of 3 peers. Fun. This was the biggest fuck up I have ever had in this job.

On top of that with my stress levels up it ups all my other emotions. LJ was trying to be supportive and I just snapped at him. On top of that I just hung up on him. I felt bad. It wasn't his fault I just let everything get to me. He normally stays at his place and works late but seeing how upset I was he came right over even after I begged him to stay home and that I would be fine.  I guess thats what a guy does when he really cares about you.  I've been meaning to go see the psychiatrist. Hell I even called last week to make an appointment. They gave me paperwork to fill out before I even show up. I am just using it now as an excuse not to go. Procrastination. My first name. My  middle name. My last name.  Help.

I do have some fun stuff coming up on the horizon. If I could just get out of this funk and stop crying at sad country songs and happy country songs. Damn.

No More Brokeback Mountain?

I just read that Heath Ledger is dead!OMG! Sucks! Just sharing the news.

WTF?

Catching up with the 21st Century

For any of you that have a sitemeter tracker thing and I read your blogs that I visit ALL THE TIME. It's not that I am a stalker or anything - it's just that until today I didn't have an RSS reader. So yeah, your site stats are gonna go down. FYI.

Love,

not really a stalker.

P.S. Will post a real post later.

You actually noticed?

Last night I felt icky from just having a long day and not having any sleep the previous night that I decide to take a shower. I normally shower in the morning to help wake me up and I don't like being cold at night. The only other times I shower in the evenings are when I visit the gym.

The thing about taking a shower at night is that I have no idea what my hair is going to look like in the morning. For work I normally put it in a slicked back ponytail and a little boufant or side swipe thing. It's not very exciting but it gets the job done. I guess I do this so much that people figure I must have questionable hair. The thing is I don't. I have great hair. I normally damn most of the genes that made me but I love the hair I have. Its thick (so thick that I have to have it sheared), it's bouncy and its shiney. My mom has fine curly hair and my dad has thick straw straight hair. So I ended up with big wavy hair. If I put in the effort most women put into their hair I would have pantene hair (super shiney pretty) everyday. I just don't care enough to make that effort on a weekday for work. By me a nice dinner and take me out for the evening and I will do it. ;)

So since I woke up kind of late this morning I decide against my usual slicked back 'do and decided to go for the free flowing hair. A little bit of Rusk Anti-Frizz and a little bit of Biosilk (yes I know its the devil but I like the smell) and I was good to go. Mind you I didn't style or even bother to brush my hair to go to work today. When I walk in the first thing my boss says "wow, your hair looks nice. very natural." This coming from a guy who won't notice a fly on his nose. Sometimes I can't take a compliment and all I said was " I didn't brush my hair this morning, but I did use product!"

So I am feeling pretty good about my hair today just b/c I remember I was watching Miss America-Reality Check ( brain fluff I know) and they made a comment about one of the contestants that didn't feel comfortable in her own skin after they made a comment to her about being so pretty with the natural curl in her hair and how they don't like the fact that she is representing this attitude in a beauty pagent.

So I love me and my natural hair. And my styled hair. And the genes that made my hair what it is today. Maybe one day I will post a picture of me with my hair down to my butt (from when I was a kid or from high school).

*Pantene Hair Swoosh*

As good as Britney's Mom

If you are a sane person you wouldn't ask Britney Spear's mom for teenage parenting advice right? So then why would you ask the person with the worst track record for relationships - relationship advice? It's worse than the blind leading the blind. It's the blindman telling the blind woman that he can see. It's not the blind woman's fault that she got lied to. Yet they both fall off the cliff together.

Speaking of Britney I heard that she was looking at house's over by where I work. No thank you. Stay on your side of LA. We don't need anyone else out here that is a shitty driver with a car that is worth more than what your mom made in 5 years before she started pimping you out running over our pedestrians and causing traffic jams to watch train wrecks.

Seriously. Go away, don't look back. We don't want you here.

What's in the bag?

I got this bag a couple of weeks ago at Forever 21. It's not a place I would normally shop but the accessories are kind of cool. I like this bag b/c it has studs all over it which makes it a little more edgy than my regular Coach bag.

Starting from top left:

Coach business card holder: b/c you never know when you are going to do business.

My Keys: Including the tag to the gym and a little flashlight.

Coupon holder: I have a habit of just dropping paper into my bag, I figured this would help with that instead. Part of my new years organiztion.

Wallet: I bought this Wallet at Forever 21 as well to go with the purse. The cool thing about it is that it has a wrist strap to go with it.

Pink Case: Nope it's not for a retainer. It's actually a mouthguard. I drive so much just in my regular commute that my Dentist recommended that I actually wear it when I drive so I don't grind my teeth as much. At least its not huge. It only goes up halfway up my teeth and its custom-made. 

My Life - My Phone: This is Pocket PC 6700. Its actually a huge phone but I am such a text message junkie that I need something with a full keyboard and a touch-screen.

Notebook: Also part of my NY Resolution, so I can remember stuff I keep forgetting. Also thinking of doing Stephanie's Idea.  Hence the heart stickers on the inside. I like stars but I also love hearts.

Ipod: Project Red. I got it for free as part of my purchase of my Mac. I had a 30 GB on top of this one but it kicked the bucket a couple of months ago.

Sudoku: my addiction. I always carry a book with me. I particularly like this one b/c it has a hard cover and a spiral on the inside. I could get the digital version of it on my phone but its not the same. Yes, I do it in Pen.

Lancome Lip Gloss in Heatstroke: It just looks pretty on my lips it goes with any lip color really.

So there you have it, what I drag around in my purse everyday. 

They like me! They really really like me!

Before we went to see LJ's family in Idaho for Christmas he knew I was super nervous. Honestly, I have had really bad experiences meeting the parents of significant others. I know most of the reasons behind their not liking me are not my fault (the fact that I am not white, that I came from a working class family that I dug my self up from, the fact that I am not mature enough to handle children that aren't my own), but they still bother me. 

So when it was even mentioned that he wanted me to meet the family instead of being excited I got really anxious. Anxious to the point that I didn't even know if I wanted to meet them.  I think b/c LJ sprung the Christmas trip on me out of nowhere probably helped a lot in the sense that I wouldn't get all worked up before going up there. The trip turned out awesome.

Anyway, I wondered if his family really liked me or if they were just being nice since I was there with their "Golden Boy". Then this week we received a card from his grandma. The card was actually addressed only to me which LJ thought was a little strange. His grandma was talking about how LJ and I met and was hoping for luck for her son.  Along with the letter she sent a religious Catholic Metal and a prayer card. Did I mention his family is super-Catholic and the first thing that came out of his grandma's mouth when she heard that I was too is "Wonderful!"

If they didn't like me they wouldn't send letters after the fact right? Or is it the fact that I sent filet mignon and lobster tails to both parents and grandparents for christmas have anything to do with it? 

Silver-Lined Living

I have known for a while that I would be moving from my current casa. I love my place but at the same time it is lacking a lot of things that I am looking for. I found a new place accidentally with a new friend K. I met K at my nail place that I've been going to forever. We are near the same age, work for competing companies & have the same style. We exchanged phone numbers to hang out on a future occasion. We ended up hanging out a week ago and we were talking about our living situations and she has an extra room for rent. 

When I originally started looking for a place I didn't consider even having a roommate. I have gotten used to living by myself. You know the being able to run around nekkid, my own food in the fridge and no one else making a mess. But what do you do when the perfect place comes and smacks you in the face? This place has everything I have been looking for and then some. I even made a comment a week before to LJ saying "wouldn't it be nice if I could find a place with a fireplace?" I now have one in my room.

So it wasn't what I was originally looking b/c of the roommate but I am trying to look at the brighter side of things. I will be paying half of what I pay in rent now, I will be living in a way better less crowded neighborhood, I have real parking that I don't have to pay extra for, its closer to the freeway, and did I mention that I will be paying half of what I am paying now?

Also as part of my new years "resolution" the whole chick friends thing this might be a good thing. She is a single girl with more girl friends than I do. She in general is more social than I am. She has even mentioned throwing parties and other shennanigans. She went to Vegas this weekend on a whim. So I think she will be a good addition to my current friends. 

Lets hope this all works out and I am not looking for a new place less than 6 months from now. 

*knock on the screen* Anyone out there?

So turns out it's National Delurking Week, A little late but let's give this a go. Most if anybody is out there is b/c I have been making an effort to stop lurking so much. I always wondered if anyone comes back and reads my blog. So this week is your week. Show the love everyone! *Please, pretty please, with a big cherry on top*

So you have something to say here are a couple of questions from me to you:

Your Name/URL
Your shoe size (to see if we shoe mates), who makes your favorite shoes.
Where you are from.

*Cheers!*

New Year 2008

First week of the new year has given me a little bit of time to digest what will be happening . I am not setting new years resolutions because I know I won't stick to them. I just need to live my life in the way I know will be in my best interest. So here are some things I will be focused on.

1. Apartment: I have decided to leave my current apartment. Don't get me wrong its great and has a lot of what I am looking for but it's still missing a lot of things that I really want. That and it is way over market. Since I have time till my lease is up I am taking my time to look at things. I already found a perfect place only problem is it belongs to another girl who wants a roommate. What to do? What to do? Do I want a roommate again? With such a perfect apartment landing in my lap?
2. Health: So the 14 lbs. I lost I gained back and lost again. And a little bit more! Yay! I am paying out the wazoo right now for the gym so I intend on using it. Along with that I am still seeing my therapist who will be referring me to the psychiatrist for meds. At least I know I need help. Between the 2 things I am working on I think I will be happier in a few months. Depression and anxiety aren't fun.
3. Work/School: So this 10 year program is not cutting it. I have been in school to long and doing one class at a time sucks. With me moving and paying off my car it leaves me a with a lot less expenses which will ease up my stress of having to work so much. Depending on what work does I may just go back to school full time. Then again it could totally upswing and I could be making a lot of money again and school gets put back for another year. Why can't I be one of those super people who can work full time and go to school full time? Well I could but I would want to kill myself and not have any kind of social life. I don't have a real need for the piece of paper b/c I am pretty well skilled in my business, I have a ton of experience and I make more money than a lot of new people with degrees. But I know if I ever want to move on up that I need to finish school unless I want to end up on a dead end.
4. Relationship: So I think I should give the BF a name instead of just the BF. He is LJ. LJ and I are trucking along in relationship bliss. I can't really forsee what is going on in our future. We talk about the future a lot but sometimes I think it's just me talking out of my butt. When it comes to relationships I am far more experienced than he is even though he is almost 4 years older than I am. I am so used to being on a real fucked up relationship super highway that being in a normal speed flowering non-drama relationship is still a little odd to me. I think I need to stop putting pressure on myself (and I am sure on LJ too unconciously) about where this relationship should be. It's not a race. Most of my friends have already been around the track once. It's okay for me to just be tying up my shoelaces and seeing everyone go by and sprint when I am only ready for the warm-up jog. If you don't do the warm up jog you end up on the side of the track with a pain in your side b/c you tried too hard or worse you completely fall out of the race. I don't want to fall out of the race with LJ.
5. Friends: I am making an honest effort to have more girlfriends. I came to realize that I lost a lot of friends when I was in my last relationship for a number of reasons. First my guy "friends" had ulterior motives and I knew it. Yet I still kept them as friends until they came to realize that I wasn't going anywhere with them. Then I lost a lof friends to having kids. Mind you I love kids but its kinda hard to balance a kid on your hip and drink out of a beer mug. Girlfriends are hard to come by when you live so far from where you are working and just meeting genuine people in LA/OC is hard. Let's hope I have better luck this year with that. I'd also like more blogging friends. Probably would help if I didnt lurk so much and actually commented on the blogs I read. I'm trying though.